My Mother's Secret Read Online Free PDF Page A

in a few weeks. I have told my father that I need to check on the factory.
    I can’t wait to see you.
    Yours most truly,
Casmir
    I can hear his voice in the words.
    Lying on my bed, I read the letter over and over again. Hugging the message that is him, I close my eyes to feel his presence. I see his face, the face that transforms the world for me.
    I miss him so much. It’s like being hungry all the time but worse because there’s no cure without him.
    I find some paper and write back.
    Dear Casmir,
    I was so happy to receive your letter and am very excited that you can come for a visit.
    Thank you for sending me such a beautiful coat. When I wear it, it will feel like you are wrapped all around me, and I will be warm just from the thought of it.
    You are right—we are very lucky to have found each other.
    I never knew what it was like to feel this way about someone.
    I am happiest when I am with you.
    Even though we are apart, you should know that I am always with you.
    I can’t wait to see you and am counting the days until you return.
    With great affection,
Helena
    I didn’t have anything to send him, so I picked a blossom from my tree and tucked it in the folded letter.
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    T HE WORDS I wrote were meant to make him feel loved.
    The letter I could never write tells him about how shaken I am after seeing a woman shot on the street, or how terrified I am of buying so much food, or how exhausted I am of constantly pretending to be friends with the Germans.
    I want to tell Casmir all these things and more. I long for him to tell me that everything will be all right—even if no one can.

Chapter 17
    U nknown to me, Vilheim, one of the commander’s guards, has been visiting my mother while I am at work.
    One evening, my mother whispers to me, “Vilheim is hiding with us.”
    She explains that they were going to send him to Russia. “He begged me to hide him,” she says.
    I look at my mother. I don’t risk words, but with my hands I ask where. Where could we possibly hide him in this small house?
    My mother points to the attic.
    I whisper, “Is he there now?”
    My mother nods.
    I know the attic is impossibly small, and I remember that Vilheim is quite tall, so he must have to lie perfectly flat to fit.
    My mother continues in a low voice. “He’s going to come down for a quick stretch at night, so I thought you should know and not be surprised.”
    Over the next few days, my mother tells me more about Vilheim. “He is an only child and was raised by his grandmother in Germany. He grew up on a farm and loves animals. He’s about the same age as Damian. He’s really sweet, Helena, not like the other soldiers.”
    I think only my mother could use the word
sweet
to describe a German soldier in the middle of a war.
    The first time I see Vilheim come down, it is late at night. He’s a bit awkward with me, but he smiles shyly and says, “Thank you,” with a kind of humble appreciation. Then quickly he goes back to the attic, where I know it must feel like a prison.
    I see why my mother agreed to help him. This boy couldn’t hurt anyone.
    We develop a code to let Vilheim know when it is safe to come down. My mother takes our broom and taps the ceiling three times.
    We are hiding both Jews and Germans.
    I wish that I could tell Casmir, but this is the one thing that I absolutely cannot reveal.
    My mother says, “It’s better that Casmir doesn’t know because then he can be truthful if we are caught.”
    The thought makes me shudder.
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    O NE OF OUR NEIGHBORS notices that my mother visits the well frequently and asks why she needs so much water.
    She says, “I have a skin disease and need to bathe frequently.”
    â€œCan you imagine?” my mother says to me later. “We’re in the middle of a war and someone has the time to