My Former Self Read Online Free PDF

tight-fitting T-shirts. He often had an unshaven face, which gave me the impression that he carefully manipulated this scruffy look. He wore name-brand clothes and shoes and was always up-to-date with the latest fashion trends, although he’d act like he didn’t really care about any of that stuff. When she found out he was cheating—although she’d had her suspicions for a while—Sandy was devastated. She said he was the only man she had ever loved. She worried about Anna, knowing that kids from broken homes tend to have more difficulties in school. That was just over a year ago and she is still heartbroken over the whole ordeal.
    “How’s Anna?” I ask.
    “She’s awesome—such a mature little girl. She just started first grade, and she’s adjusting well. I’m not crazy about her being with Vivian every other weekend, but there is not much I can do about that.”
    “Do you ever see her or talk to her?”
    “No, not often. Dale makes sure he comes alone when he picks up Anna. There was this one time about a month ago, though, I couldn’t hold my tongue. She brought her to see a Robin Hood movie that was definitely not appropriate for a five-year-old. This was the third time she’s brought her to a non-G-rated movie. Anna was so frightened at night that she had to sleep with me. I e-mailed Vivian the next day and Dale called me within a few hours. He said if I had any problems to go through him, because Vivian was ‘pretty distressed’ by my words. Whatever, she’s a whore, anyway.”
    “It must be hard having to deal with another person raising your child.”
    “You have no idea.”
    I really don’t.
    We end up ordering in a pizza and decide we’ll go out tomorrow instead. We stay up until midnight talking.
    She talks a great deal about Dale and it’s obvious that she’s not over him. “You know what I miss most? It’s going to sound trivial to you, I’m sure, but it was our breakfasts together as a family on the weekends. We’d go to the bagel shop down the street and just sit, talk, drink our coffee, and enjoy Anna’s company. I still get sad when I see that place.”
    “I don’t think it sounds trivial; it makes perfect sense that you’d miss the little things. You were a happy family, and now you’re not. It must be tough.” I’m not sure if my comments help her or make her feel worse. I decide to just be there for her and listen. And, besides, who am I to comment on the topic of serious relationships?
    We wake up on Saturday and go to the market to buy fresh vegetables for lunch. We go for a coffee and then play tennis in the afternoon. It’s so nice and easy being with Sandy. I wish we lived closer. I know I could make more of an effort to see my sister, but time has a way of passing by so quickly. And the excuses I make appear so credible at the time, but seem so weak and insignificant when I look back on them. I think of my sister often and regret that we’re not closer.
    “So are you dating anyone, Ton?” And there it is, like everyone else, she too wants to know. It’s the question of the century.
    “Not really, no. Are you still going to the gym?” I try to change the subject.
    “You know, I understand better than anyone that it’s good to be cautious, but I think you’re being too picky. I mean, there are a lot of good guys out there. What about that Jake or Jason guy you were seeing?” She won’t bite on my question.
    Jason was a guy I had made up to get out of going to my cousin’s wedding. I had said we were attending his high school reunion in London and had already booked a flight and hotel. I don’t usually lie to Sandy, but it was more a lie for everyone—my whole family, extended included.
    “Oh, things didn’t work out. He was nice enough, but we just didn’t really have a whole lot in common.” I hate lying.
    “I think you need to be a little easier on these guys or else you’ll never find someone,” she warns, as though being alone is not an