stand to watch.
‘Get off your lard-arse and help me,’ Ma said. But I couldn’t stand to touch it. I rubbed my shoulder. It was OK. It went dead for a while and then it hurt. But it was OK.
‘Come
on,’
Ma said.
But I couldn’t stand to look at her neither.
I got up. I picked Milo up. I walked away.
‘Oi!’ said Ma. ‘Where you off to?’
But I was too gutted to talk. I walked away with Milo in me arms.
Chapter 5
The vet said Milo had a dislocated femur. He jolted it back in place and made Milo cry. He said Milo was young and strong – he’d not notice it in the morning. And that was true.
But I ain’t a pup. I got memories and feelings and stuff that a pup ain’t got. I can’t go to the vet with them and be all right the next day. I got them for keeps, and they hurt.
I s’pose you’ll say, ‘Who cares? You’re flush now, Eva. You’re laughing. Take some of that crinkly stuff you got nailed up on the doghouse wall and rub it on what hurts. That’s what loaded folk do.’ Well, that goes to show what a big help
you
are. It shows how unfeeling people become when they know you got lots of dosh. I won’t come to you again.
No. Harsh was who I needed. Harsh knows everything. Harsh has all the answers. He’s a god, and an ace good wrestler too. But unless you know your onions, like me, you won’t appreciate him. It takes someone who knows what’s what in the ring to appreciate a wrestler like Harsh. He’s what we call a shooter – a straight shooter. What’s more, he’s got brains – which is more than I can say for most of the thickos I know.
But it’d been a bit of a stretch since I seen him last. I hadn’t seen him ‘cos he trains at the gym I got kicked out of. The one Mr Dirty Deeds barred me from. Harsh is still in my ex-world and I didn’t want to see him ‘cos it reminded me of what I ain’t got.
And I didn’t want to walk into the gym just to hear those heavyweights, Gruff and Pete, say, ‘Here comes the has-been.’
‘Costhey would, you know. Gruff and Pete are the worst fungus-farts in the world. They know what hurts and they hurt what hurts. They enjoy it. I didn’t want to face them.
So I waited outside in the mizzle. I waited and watched out for Harsh. I waited a long time on the other side of the road where I could see the gym door. I waited in the doorway of the tobacconist till the owner moved me on and then I hunkered down next to a boarded-up shop. And, would you believe it, I hadn’t been there twenty minutes when some little old woman gave me ten pence. I mean, shit, she must’ve thought I was homeless or something. She just walked past and dropped a ten-pence coin on the ground in front of me like I was a beggar. I should’ve shouted at her. I should’ve said, ‘Oi, you soppy old wrinkly, don’t you know a squillionaire when you see one?’ I should’ve given her back her pitiful ten pence. But I never. I was narked, but I also thought, ain’t that weird – when I had fuck-all, nobody gave me fuck-all. Now I’ve got loads, people are falling over to give me more. Loot attracts loot.
See what I mean? That’s what made me feel hot about the lottery ticket I bought. I couldn’t wait for Saturday to find out how much I’d won. I was so hot, I couldn’t not win. So I picked up the coin and stashed it. I’d keep it as my lucky piece.
Just as I was doing that I saw Harsh come out the gym door. And I was really glad he didn’t see me picking up a coin off the street ‘cos he looked so clean and beautiful. He’s got the perfect body – strong, muscled, but not overcooked. Every bit of him’s useful. None of it’s for show.
And that’s why I nearly didn’t go over to talk to him. ‘Cos he looks how I ought to look. And I suddenly knew that nosy cow, the Enemy, had a point – I
had
slurped a bit too much of the sauce. I
had
let myself go. And that’s why the rent man decked me. Of course it was Ma’s fault too – her upsetting me, her