Murder Talks Turkey Read Online Free PDF

hunting license. “Everybody should be treated the same. Hello, Gertie.”
    “Hi, Tony.”
    “Didn’t I tell you to put your hands up against that tree?” Rolly said to me. “Help me search the ground for her weapon, Mr. Lento, and shoot her if she moves.”
    By the time the surrounding woods and my physical person had been thoroughly searched by the warden, half the day was gone.
    Not only that, Tony had given up on getting a good shot after the brouhaha with Rolly. He’d chucked it in for the rest of today, leaving me hugging the tree, unable to follow after him.
Someday, someone is going to clean that warden’s clock.
After Rolly satisfied himself that I wasn’t armed, I traipsed out of the backwoods—cold, hungry, and having lost my man.
__________

    Grandma Johnson sat at the kitchen table having coffee with her friend Pearl, who claimed she had saved us at the credit union by whacking the robber with her purse to give the rescuers a clear shot. She was experiencing a bit of fame among the old age set and she wasn’t about to miss out on the glory.
    Fred had been banished to the great outdoors. He and Grandma don’t see eye to eye, which is all the more reason for me to like my dog. He came inside with me, all ten tons of black hair and red eyes. Pearl squealed. So did Grandma. “Get that thing outta the house,” she said.
    “Where’s Kitty?” I swung my head. Fred plopped down by the door, ready to bolt if Grandma grabbed the fly swatter. “And where’s Blaze?”
    “That lippy friend of yours took Blaze along to the sheriff’s station.” Grandma clacked her false teeth in agitation. “Don’t send her over to babysit me no more.”
    “She wasn’t here to take care of you,” I said. “She was here to make Blaze comfortable.” Who would want to keep this old battle axe safe from harm? If she tried to stick her fingernail file into a light socket, I wouldn’t say a word to stop her.
Pearl piped up, “Blaze said they stole the money.”
“Blaze has a few mental problems,” I said.
“Says who?” Grandma asked, staring at me with eyes beadier than Fred’s.
“Says the doctors. He thinks he has millions stashed away, and thieves are after it.”
“He told me about that,” Pearl said. “Such a shame. But this is different money. This news came from one of the deputies.”
    “Never did like that Dickey Snell,” Grandma said, stating the only fact we’ve ever agreed on. “Gertie’s going to drive us over to Trenary for bingo tonight. Now that she has her driver’s license.”
    “That’s an easy one to get,” Pearl said.
    “Took her long enough,” Grandma said.
    I haven’t informed my mother-in-law of my status, because she doesn’t need to know everything about my personal life. After enough crabbing and threatening from Blaze, I went to Escanaba and passed my written test. I’m official now. Except, I’m supposed to have a fully licensed driver in the car with me at all times. The rules they make! I have a temporary license for six months, then I get the real one.
    “What did Dickey say?” I asked, still wondering about Kitty and Blaze. Kitty knew better than to take Blaze down to the sheriff’s office. But what if something important was happening?
    “The money’s missing,” Pearl said again. “It’s gone.”
    “Serves Blaze right,” Grandma said, picking up her cup from a pool of spilled coffee and taking a drink.
    “I’m not talking about Blaze’s hidden fortune,” Pearl said, slurping coffee between words. “By the way, I hope Blaze is right. A millionaire! In Stonely! Imagine that. But I’m trying to tell you the credit union money is what’s missing.”
    “That’s impossible,” I said. “There was only one robber and he had a pillow case filled with play money.”
    “And he had my hard earned cash,” Pearl said. “Don’t forget that. It’s why I clocked him with my purse.” Pearl did a swinging motion, a re-enactment of events before continuing.