Murder Has Nine Lives

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Book: Murder Has Nine Lives Read Online Free PDF
Author: Laura Levine
white silk blouse, suede blazer, and my one and only pair of Manolo Blahniks.
    â€œSee you later, my little money maker!” I called out to Prozac as I headed for the door.
    She looked up from where she was lolling on the sofa.
    Don’t forget. I want my five grand in bacon bits.
    Fifteen minutes later, I was pulling up to the Peninsula Hotel valet parking area. Under normal circumstances, I’d drive around endlessly looking for a spot on the street before forking over money for valet parking. Especially at an outrageously expensive joint like the Peninsula. But what the heck? Deedee was treating. For once, I’d spring for valet parking.
    The valet who ambled over eyed my ancient Corolla as if I’d just driven up in a four-door cockroach.
    â€œDeliveries in the back,” he said.
    â€œI am not making a delivery,” I informed him with more than a hint of frost in my voice. “I’m here for lunch.”
    Blinking back his disbelief, he reluctantly got in my car and zoomed off into the underground lot, no doubt determined to park deep in its bowels, in order to avoid contaminating any of the luxury cars.
    I found Deedee out on the patio of the hotel’s garden restaurant, seated in a sun-dappled corner beneath a magnolia tree, waving to me merrily with a flute of champagne.
    â€œJaine, darling!” she cried, bangles jangling. “So wonderful to see you!”
    Today she was swathed in neon green gauze, crystal necklaces twinkling on her bosom, gold lacquered chopsticks popping out from her bun.
    â€œHave some bubbly, hon!” she said, pouring me a glass of Dom Pérignon. “Here’s to darling Prozac! I’m going to make that adorable furball the biggest animal star since Morris the Cat!”
    We clinked glasses and took a sip. Well, I took a sip. Deedee glugged hers down like a sailor on shore leave.
    Having downed her bubbly, she poured herself some more and then handed me a menu.
    â€œOrder whatever you want, sweetie. The sky’s the limit.”
    I looked at the prices, eyeballs rolling. Would you believe twenty dollars for a burger? But that didn’t stop me from ordering it. Deedee topped me by ordering a lobster salad. (A nosebleed expensive twenty-nine smackeroos!)
    After our waiter left with our orders, Deedee whipped out a contract from her purse and slid it across the table to me.
    â€œJust sign at the X s,” she said, flourishing a DEEDEE WALKER, AGENT TO THE ANIMAL STARS ballpoint pen.
    I signed the contract, my eyes spinning in delight at the spot where Deedee had typed in my five-thousand-dollar payment.
    Yes, indeedie. This was a Dom Pérignon day, all right.
    The luncheon drifted by in a happy glow, Deedee yapping about her famous animal clients. (Lassie’s great-granddaughter. Benji’s nephew. The cover parrot on Parrots Today magazine.) I just nodded on auto-pilot, scarfing down my burger and picturing the zeros on my paycheck.
    In spite of the fact that she’d been talking nonstop, somehow Deedee managed to inhale every last morsel of her lobster salad. Not to mention most of the champagne.
    â€œBy the way,” she said when she finally ran out of animal stories, “the Skinny Kitty people want you to stop by their offices today and pick up some cat food so you can rehearse Prozac’s eating scene at home.”
    Five grand and free cat food. Life just kept getting better and better.
    â€œWill do,” I assured her.
    Finally, after she’d practically licked the last drop of champagne from her flute, Deedee signaled our waiter.
    â€œCheck please,” she trilled.
    Minutes later the check appeared at our table on a tiny silver tray.
    Deedee reached into her purse, and suddenly her eyes widened in dismay.
    â€œOh, my dear!” she cried. “I can’t believe it. I’ve left my wallet at home. How silly of me. You don’t mind picking up the tab, do you, hon? I’ll pay you back
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