Mrs. Jafee Is Daffy! Read Online Free PDF

me.
    “Andrea,” Stonewall said, “I need you and A.J. to go on a very dangerous mission.”
    “Why me?” I protested.
    “Oooooh!” Ryan said. “A.J. and Andrea are going on a dangerous mission together! They must be in LOVE!”
    “When are you gonna get married?” asked Michael.
    “Shhhhhhh!” Stonewall Jackson said. “I need you two to sneak through the woods in the back of the playground, come upbehind enemy lines, and capture Mrs. Jafee.”
    “How are we gonna do that?” I asked.
    “With this,” Stonewall said, pulling out a big cloth sack.
    “Yes, sir!” Andrea said, taking the sack and saluting.
    “Good luck,” said Stonewall Jackson. “We’re counting on you two. Don’t let us down.”
    Me and Andrea sneaked off into the woods. It was a long walk to the other side of the playground.
    “I’m scared, Arlo,” Andrea said. “Hold my hand.”
    “Soldiers don’t hold hands,” I told her.
    “We could get ambushed by the enemyout here,” Andrea said. “Hold my hand, Arlo.”
    “No!”
    “Please, Arlo?”
    “I’m not holding your hand, and that’s final,” I said.
    That’s when I spotted Mrs. Jafee. She was all by herself, leaning against a tree and taking a drink from a water bottle.
    “Look!” I whispered to Andrea. “There she is!”
    “Shhhhhh!”
    We sneaked up behind the tree. We were just a few feet away from Mrs. Jafee. I could hear her breathing. Andrea lifted the sack in the air and pulled it down overMrs. Jafee’s head.

    “What the—”
    But Mrs. Jafee didn’t have the chance to finish her sentence. She was in the sack.

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    “Quick!” Andrea shouted. “Take her legs, Arlo!”
    We picked up the sack with Mrs. Jafee in it and rushed back through the woods.
    “Help!” Mrs. Jafee shouted. “Put me down, doggone it! I’m your vice principal!”
    “No,” I said, “you’re a prisoner of war!And in the words of Abraham Lincoln, ‘Nah-nah-nah boo-boo on you.’”
    “Arlo, I don’t think Abraham Lincoln ever said that,” Andrea told me.
    “Well, he should have.”
    Andrea and I finally made it back to our side of the playground. We dumped the sack on the ground in front of Stonewall Jackson.
    “Great work!” Stonewall said. “Put a gag in her mouth to keep her quiet. I mean him .”
    Ryan and Michael wrapped a rag around Mrs. Jafee’s mouth and tied it in the back.
    “What do we do now?” asked Neil the nude kid.
    “Tie her up with this rope!” Stonewall Jackson said.
    Neil tied up Mrs. Jafee. Everybody started yelling and cheering as word got around that our side had captured General Grant.
    “We won!” kids were shouting. “We won the war!”
    We were all yelling and screaming and celebrating when the strangest thing in the history of the world happened.
    A plane flew overhead.

    Well, that wasn’t the strange part, because planes fly overhead all the time. The strange part was that something was falling out of the plane.
    “What’s that?” Emily yelled.
    “It’s a parachute!” yelled Stonewall Jackson.
    “They didn’t have parachutes during the Civil War,” Andrea said. “They didn’t have planes either.”
    It didn’t matter what they had during the Civil War because the parachute was coming down right over our heads.
    “It’s a man!” Ryan shouted.
    “It’s a man with no hair!” Michael shouted.
    “It’s Mr. Klutz!” Neil shouted.
    “Hooray for Mr. Klutz!” everybody started shouting. “He’s back!”
    Everybody was happy to see Mr. Klutz again. But there was just one problem. His parachute was heading straight for the swimming pool at the side of the playground.
    SPLASH!
    It was a real Kodak moment. We saw it live and in person. Everybody ran over to the swimming pool.
    “Help!” Mr. Klutz yelled. “I can’t swim! Glub glub glub glub!”
    Stonewall Jackson jumped into the pool and fished out Mr. Klutz before he drowned.

    “Why didn’t you go to the airport?” Ryan asked him.
    “Well,” Mr. Klutz