Mrs Harris Goes to Moscow Read Online Free PDF Page B

Paradise ain’t like that. If I’m fifteen minutes late they dock me pay and if I took a day off they’d give me the push quick as a wink. The job’s cushy and the tips are good and there’s a dozen that would be waitin’ to take me place. I’ll bet you ain’t thought of that, Ada ’Arris. And so let’s ’ave an end to all this palaver. And good luck to the Princess on ’er bloomin’ ’orse.’
    It was true. Mrs Harris had not thought of that and for once she was silenced. In these tough times a job was a job. Economics were in a parlous state, inflation was rampant and she certainly could not demand of her friend that she sacrifice what seemed to be a comfortable and well-paying position. And for three days the visit to Moscow was not mentioned and Mrs Harris even put away the brochures and schemed and wondered how she might get over or around that hurdle. Help arrived from a most unexpected quarter. For it seemed that the Great Manipulator who dwelt behind the stars had his own ideas on the subject and for some reason in His infinite wisdom and omnipotence wanted Mrs Harris in Moscow.
    He went about the matter in his usual roundabout but effective way by sending an inspector from the Fire Department to look over the layout of the Paradise Club.
    For two days Mrs Butterfield had Mrs Harrisfooled by arising from their tea-time conference at her usual hour and saying, ‘Well love, I suppose I’d better be gettin’ on,’ and taking her departure as usual. But the third day the game was up.
    Ada was still in the pages of her
Evening News
when Violet went through her formula and without looking up from the sheet said quietly, ‘Must be off, must you? Where to, the flicks?’
    Stopped at the door, Mrs Butterfield swung her huge bulk about and looked across the room at her friend with some alarm. ‘Flicks?’ she said, ‘What flicks? I don’t know what you’re talking about.’
    Ada said, ‘Come back and sit down and I’ll tell you. ’Ere, listen to this.’
    And as one almost under a hypnotic spell Violet did as she was bidden. Mrs Harris read:
    FIRE PREVENTION OFFICER CLOSES DOWN
FAMOUS NIGHT SPOT.
    Paradise Club infringes Safety Regulations.
    Fire Prevention Officer John Reach announced the closure of the Paradise Night-Club in Upper Mount Street for failing to comply with certain fire prevention and safety regulations. Club Manager Silk Mathieson immediately agreed to carry out the necessary modifications. Mr Mathieson said that the changes ordered would takeover a month to complete during which period the club would remain closed. Mr Mathieson added that the staff was being given a month’s holiday with pay during the period of reconstruction.
    Hypnosis would no longer serve to describe Mrs Butterfield’s condition. Paralysis was the word now as she sat quivering in a position usually described as rooted to the spot, staring guiltily in the direction of her friend who now lowered her newspaper and said, ‘Violet Butterfield, ’ow could you do this to me? Carn’t go wif me on account of your job eh? A month’s ’oliday wif pay it says ’ere and you pretending to be orf to work. ’Ow about a little ’oliday trip wif me to Moscow now, old girl?’
    Caught as it were with her knickers down Mrs Butterfield reacted with a burst of anger which was unusual for her but under the circumstances understandable. ‘Look ’ere, Ada ’Arris,’ she cried, emerging from her state of frightened immobility, ‘don’t you bully me. You and me’s been friends for a long time but I ain’t going to be told where to go and where not to go and when it comes to one of the plyces I ain’t goin’, Roosha’s it. You can ’ave all your pictures of palaces and churches and bally girls but they don’t show you no photers of them poor people locked