Mrs. Dole Is Out of Control! Read Online Free PDF

nose. That’s what guys do in the movies when they catch somebody kissing their wife.”
    â€œHe’s giving her mouth-to-mouth resuscitation, dumbhead!” said Andrea.
    I didn’t know what mouth-to-mouth resuscitation was, but it looked a lotlike kissing to me.
    I was trying to think of something mean to say to Andrea when Mrs. Daisy opened her eyes.
    â€œWhere am I?” she asked.
    â€œYou’re in the playground,” said Officer Spence. “You’re going to be fine. Did you eat a lot of bonbons recently?”
    â€œNo,” Mrs. Daisy said, “I gave almost all of them away.”
    â€œThen how did you get so fat?” I asked.
    â€œBecause…”
    â€œBecause we’re going to have a baby!” said Mr. Macky.
    WHAT????!!!!

12
The Perfect Baby Name
    Mr. Macky told us that Mrs. Daisy is going to have a baby in the fall. She was waiting for the right moment to tell us the big news.
    â€œSo that’s why you had a doctor’s appointment!” said Andrea.
    â€œAnd that’s why you’re moving to abigger house!” said Michael.
    â€œAnd that’s why you’ve been knitting and trying to eat healthier!” said Emily.
    â€œAnd that’s why you fainted!” I said.
    â€œThat’s right,” said Mrs. Daisy.
    The girls were all excited and giggly because girls always get excited and giggly whenever they find out somebody is going to have a baby. Nobody knows why. They crowded around to hug Mrs. Daisy, touch her stomach, and argue over whether the baby would be a boy or a girl.
    Next the girls started thinking up baby names, because that’s what you’re supposed to do when you find out somebodyis going to have a baby. The girls decided the baby should be named Michelle.
    â€œWhat about you guys?” asked Mr. Macky. “What do you think we should name the baby?”
    Hmmm. I looked around. Firefighters were still hosing off the petting zoo. That’s when I came up with the best baby name in the history of the world.
    â€œHydrant,” I suggested.
    â€œHYDRANT?” everyone shouted.
    I said that Hydrant would be a great name for a baby, because it would be antique. There was probably no other kid in the world named Hydrant. Besides, Hydrant would be the perfect namebecause the only thing babies can do is pee. Sort of like a hydrant.

    All in all, I thought graduation went pretty well, except that I knocked overthe eternal flame, Emily caught on fire, the petting zoo animals escaped, and the school almost burned down. But stuff like that happens all the time at Ella Mentry School.
    Maybe I shouldn’t have thrown my cap up in the air. Maybe we’ll get another cake. Maybe the parents will be able to round up the cows and goats and chickens. Maybe Ryan’s mom will stop jumping out of boats. Maybe Andrea’s mom will become PTA president. Maybe Officer Spence will stop kissing married women. Maybe Ryan will stop hiding under his desk whenever his mom is around. Maybe Mrs. Daisy and Mr. Macky will name their baby Hydrant. Maybe bySeptember everybody will forget what happened at graduation. Maybe we’ll be able to talk Mr. Klutz into letting us have another graduation at the end of third grade.
    But it won’t be easy!

About the Authors
    Dan Gutman has written many weird books for kids. He lives in New Jersey (a very weird place) with his weird wife and two weird children. You can visit him on his weird website at www.dangutman.com.

    Jim Paillot lives in Arizona (another weird place) with his weird wife and two weird children. Isn’t that weird? You can visit him on his weird website at www.jimpaillot.com.

    Visit www.AuthorTracker.com for exclusive information on your favorite HarperCollins author.

Copyright
    MY WEIRD SCHOOL DAZE #1: MRS. DOLE IS OUT OF CONTROL! . Illustrations Copyright © 2008 by Jim Paillot. All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright