More Than Friends Read Online Free PDF Page A
Author: Erin Dutton
hallway. When she reached the living room, she clicked on a floor lamp in the corner.
As she looked around the room, she studied each item she and Kendall had purchased together. That vase, the photo frame made from reclaimed barn wood, the collection of DVDs. The thought of disentangling the history they had here made her sad. How would she know when it was time to let go? She’d been waiting—for what she wasn’t sure. A sign, maybe, some moment of clarity. Was the flash of guilt she’d felt when Evelyn said she aspired to a relationship like theirs enough? If only Kendall had cheated or lied, her decision would be easy.
She laughed, short and harsh, at the direction of her thoughts—wishing for infidelity so she could be spared the hard choice. But she wouldn’t be granted an easy out. Yes, they had problems, but she never questioned Kendall’s loyalty.
So how long should she wait? What could prompt her to take the next step—the one she’d been dreading, the one she’d been putting off? Kendall’s parents had split up when she was seven years old, and she had never forgiven them for giving up on each other. And though she and Kendall didn’t have any children together, Melanie knew Kendall’s strong commitment to their relationship was connected to her disjointed childhood. She wouldn’t be the first to surrender. Though she was certain Kendall knew—had known for some time—that neither of them was happy, she would most likely place the blame on Melanie’s shoulders, at least initially.
“What are you doing up?”
Given the path of her thoughts, hearing Kendall’s familiar voice sliced through her heart. “I’m sorry if I woke you.” She turned. Kendall’s hair stuck up except on the right side, where she usually slept; there it had flattened against her head. She looked adorable, like the woman Melanie had fallen in love with seven years ago. That realization made it even more difficult to admit those feelings had faded to friendship.
“You didn’t. But I rolled over and realized you were gone.”
Melanie’s stomach twisted. She didn’t think Kendall intended her words to have a double meaning, but she felt their foreshadowing keenly.
“Kendall, I…”
Kendall tilted her head to the side, confusion then concern sliding across her face. “Is something wrong?”
“No. Yes.” She drew a slow breath as Kendall crossed to sit beside her. What was she waiting for? There would be no perfect time, only the ever-growing knot in her stomach and a million reasons to put off what she should do, for both of them. She closed her eyes, unable to look at Kendall when she forced out the words. “I can’t do this anymore.”
“What?”
She didn’t repeat herself. Kendall’s inquiry was only a stall—her brain trying to delay the pain for her heart.
Finally, Kendall shook her head. “We’re just in a slump—”
“No, Kendall. We’ve been saying that for too long. It’s not a slump anymore. Something is wrong.” She opened her eyes, but when she saw the heartbreak on Kendall’s face, she wished she hadn’t.
“Maybe we just need more time.” Kendall’s eyes filled. The veneer of Melanie’s control threatened to shatter. “I can’t, Mel—you’re my best friend.”
She wanted to take it back, pretend she hadn’t said it. They had been hurtling toward this moment, but somehow that knowledge didn’t blunt the blow. Instead, she said, “I know, honey. But we deserve more.”
Kendall lifted her eyes to the ceiling as if she could find some solution there.
Melanie took her hand and their fingers naturally intertwined, as they had been doing for seven years. Tears stung her eyes when she realized that this might be the last time they touched each other this way. “It’s time, Kendall.”
Kendall nodded slowly. “I know.” Her voice cracked and she coughed out a sob.
“I’m so sorry.” She moved to gather Kendall in her arms, but she jerked away and stumbled to her
As she looked around the room, she studied each item she and Kendall had purchased together. That vase, the photo frame made from reclaimed barn wood, the collection of DVDs. The thought of disentangling the history they had here made her sad. How would she know when it was time to let go? She’d been waiting—for what she wasn’t sure. A sign, maybe, some moment of clarity. Was the flash of guilt she’d felt when Evelyn said she aspired to a relationship like theirs enough? If only Kendall had cheated or lied, her decision would be easy.
She laughed, short and harsh, at the direction of her thoughts—wishing for infidelity so she could be spared the hard choice. But she wouldn’t be granted an easy out. Yes, they had problems, but she never questioned Kendall’s loyalty.
So how long should she wait? What could prompt her to take the next step—the one she’d been dreading, the one she’d been putting off? Kendall’s parents had split up when she was seven years old, and she had never forgiven them for giving up on each other. And though she and Kendall didn’t have any children together, Melanie knew Kendall’s strong commitment to their relationship was connected to her disjointed childhood. She wouldn’t be the first to surrender. Though she was certain Kendall knew—had known for some time—that neither of them was happy, she would most likely place the blame on Melanie’s shoulders, at least initially.
“What are you doing up?”
Given the path of her thoughts, hearing Kendall’s familiar voice sliced through her heart. “I’m sorry if I woke you.” She turned. Kendall’s hair stuck up except on the right side, where she usually slept; there it had flattened against her head. She looked adorable, like the woman Melanie had fallen in love with seven years ago. That realization made it even more difficult to admit those feelings had faded to friendship.
“You didn’t. But I rolled over and realized you were gone.”
Melanie’s stomach twisted. She didn’t think Kendall intended her words to have a double meaning, but she felt their foreshadowing keenly.
“Kendall, I…”
Kendall tilted her head to the side, confusion then concern sliding across her face. “Is something wrong?”
“No. Yes.” She drew a slow breath as Kendall crossed to sit beside her. What was she waiting for? There would be no perfect time, only the ever-growing knot in her stomach and a million reasons to put off what she should do, for both of them. She closed her eyes, unable to look at Kendall when she forced out the words. “I can’t do this anymore.”
“What?”
She didn’t repeat herself. Kendall’s inquiry was only a stall—her brain trying to delay the pain for her heart.
Finally, Kendall shook her head. “We’re just in a slump—”
“No, Kendall. We’ve been saying that for too long. It’s not a slump anymore. Something is wrong.” She opened her eyes, but when she saw the heartbreak on Kendall’s face, she wished she hadn’t.
“Maybe we just need more time.” Kendall’s eyes filled. The veneer of Melanie’s control threatened to shatter. “I can’t, Mel—you’re my best friend.”
She wanted to take it back, pretend she hadn’t said it. They had been hurtling toward this moment, but somehow that knowledge didn’t blunt the blow. Instead, she said, “I know, honey. But we deserve more.”
Kendall lifted her eyes to the ceiling as if she could find some solution there.
Melanie took her hand and their fingers naturally intertwined, as they had been doing for seven years. Tears stung her eyes when she realized that this might be the last time they touched each other this way. “It’s time, Kendall.”
Kendall nodded slowly. “I know.” Her voice cracked and she coughed out a sob.
“I’m so sorry.” She moved to gather Kendall in her arms, but she jerked away and stumbled to her