Mixed Blessings Read Online Free PDF Page A

you!" She was a pretty girl, with an amazing figure, but she had never thought much of her looks, or herself, until she met Charlie. He was so kind to her, so protective, so unlike the men she had known, and yet sometimes she still wished he were a little bit more exciting. She had wanted to go out with an actor when she came to L.A maybe even someone famous.

    And she had fallen for Charlie instead. And there were still times when she wondered if she should wait for her dream prince, or at least a famous actor. She had taken Charlie shopping to buy new clothes, and tried to introduce him to the latest styles to jazz him up a little bit, but in the end, she had had to agree with him, that on him they just looked silly. He was just a plainclothes kind of guy. His hair stuck up when he left it too long, so he had to cut it short, and he never got a suntan, he just fried, and after that he blistered.

    "I'm not a glamorous type, you understand," he had explained to her seriously one night, over a dinner he had cooked for her. It was his specialty, cannelloni and 0550 buco and a big tossed green salad. He had actually learned to make it in one of his foster homes, he explained to her, and her heart went out to him when he said it. There were times when she really loved him, and other times when she wasn't quite as sure, and she wondered. Was he right for her? Really, really right? Or was he just generous and nice and convenient? She knew that no harm would come to her with him. But neither would any glamour or excitement.

    Nothing was ever clear-cut in her life, the choices were always so damn difficult; the prices to be paid so high, the risks so great . . .

    except with Charlie. He was offering her everything, everything she had thought she wanted years before or should now. Security, a nice place to live, a nice guy to take care of her, no worries, no headaches, no terror that she couldn't pay the rent this month, no fear that things would go from bad to worse again and she'd have to get another job as a showgirl. What she really wanted was an acting career, and the agents who'd talked to her said she had talent. All she needed now was a break. And she wasn't sure if Charlie would get in the way of that. If she married him, could she still work? Would he object to her career? He said he wouldn't, but he also talked about kids all the time, and that wasn't in the cards for her, not for now, not with him, not yet, and maybe even never. She didn't say that to him, of course, but what if her big break came? What if she got a regular part on a weekly show, or even a big part in an important movie? Then where would she be with her little life? But if the big break didn't come . . . at least she wouldn't be waiting on tables, And maybe it was the wrong way to look at things. She felt guilty about it sometimes, but she had to think about herself. She had learned that lesson a long time ago, right in the bosom of her own family. She had learned a lot of lessons from them, lessons she didn't care to learn again, or even remember.

    It was hard not to be swayed by Charlie's constancy, his adoration, his devotion, his just plain decency, and in the end Barbie decided that she really did love him. But now, standing here, it was terrifying all over again. What if she was doing the wrong thing? What if they hated each other in two years, or if it didn't even take that long? "Then what'll I do?" she whispered to Judi.

    "It's a little late to worry about that now, isn't it?" Judi said, smoothing down her red lace dress. She had endless legs, and breasts that were exploding out of her cleavage. She had had implants done in Vegas by a doctor she knew there who gave her a great deal on the surgery, and everyone she knew thought they were terrific. Except Barbie, who had thought buying boobs was silly, because her own were big, firm, and real. But hell, Judi told herself, from a distance, who could tell the difference?

    Barbie had a