Miss Jane's Undoing Read Online Free PDF Page A

Tommy’s arms.
    For a few days, Jane avoided going on her usual walk.  It wasn’t that she didn’t want to meet Tommy but that she needed to sort out her own feelings.  Three years before, she could have confidently said that Tommy wasn’t the kind of man to interest her.  But now, she wasn’t so sure.  Like those romantic heroines she’d read about, she felt that she was being swept away on a tide of emotion that she couldn’t control.  She wanted to pause for a second, and figure things out, but could find no way to slow down, except to retreat altogether.  And this was what she  would do.
    It was possible, she thought, that all her ruminating about the subject was for naught.  She didn’t know if Tommy still had feelings for her or if he was merely amusing himself.  What could she do to bring him to the point?  She remembered the pleasure he had taken in looking at her naked by the stream and wondered if she could convince him to fall in love with her again by invoking his desire.  She would have to be unashamed of her nudity and she’d have to resist the feminine modesty instilled in her from childhood.  However, the habit of not putting herself forward was deeply ingrained and it required a great deal of resolution for her to throw it off.  Plus, she knew that she was taking a risk because if her plan didn’t succeed, then she would have lost her virginity as well as any chance of being respectably married.  Was it worth it?

    ****

    After the day at the stream, Tommy’s thoughts ran in a different direction.  He suffered from pangs of remorse, at once again taking advantage of Jane’s inexperience.  Despite his cool exterior and the restraint he showed, he was not unaffected by her willing submission to his desires.  While growing up, he’d fallen in love with her beauty and her strength of character, but now, he saw a new side to her he’d never suspected.  She was sensual and responsive, albeit in an innocent way.  Unlike the other women he’d been with, her pleasure in lovemaking was spontaneous, not rehearsed.  Tommy had slept with some women who thought to please him excessively by loud moaning and enthusiastic participation in the act of love, but Jane’s instinctive caresses and mild trembling with passion aroused him a great deal more.  The fact that she had trusted him enough to let things go as far as they did, spoke volumes, but Tommy knew he needed to bring up his feelings for her again before he took things any further.  Jane deserved the dignity of an engagement and marriage.  A smile crossed his lips at the thought of referring to her as Mrs. Bailey.
    However, when Jane kept her distance from him for the next few days, Tommy grew unsure and agitated.  He knew that she had enjoyed herself by the stream but realized that she was no doubt regretting her actions, as improper.  He knew that his intentions towards her were completely honorable; he would have married her in a heartbeat if he thought that she would agree.  But did she know that?  Did she doubt him?  She had known him all her life.  She couldn’t possibly imagine that he was toying with her emotions.  Women, however, were irrational creatures and Tommy even knew that some of them delighted in men who treated them badly.  This was something that had been forcefully brought home to him at Oxford where the most popular young men, with the greatest number of conquests, were the ones who appeared not to care.  Tommy felt that it was beneath him to be anything other than honest; Jane would know how he felt at their next meeting, as soon as he could find the right moment to declare himself.  He threw off his diffidence and decided to do what was necessary to make her his.

    ****

    When Tommy met Jane a few days later on the avenue, he found her in a state of anxiety which expressed itself in a manic way; she laughed and smiled and chatted away as though nothing was the matter, barely giving Tommy a chance