Midsummer's Eve Read Online Free PDF Page A

?” I was trying hard to steady my breathing and control the raging impulse to do a somersault through the window screen landing in a handstand on his head. This could not be happening! Was I really such a colossal fool? “And don’ t even give me that ‘ she is just a friend ’ crap !”
    “ She is my … housekeeper,” he had the nerve to stammer, while at the same time applying his most charmin g and convincing smile. However , his expression conveyed that of a scampering forest creature caught in the headlights of a speeding, out of control Mini Cooper . 
    His housekeeper? The man’s house was currently in foreclosure and he was constantly riveted to CNN in hopes that President Obama would come up with a loan modification program, which actually worked, in time to save his house from the looming auction block. And he expected me to believe that he had been blessed with a sudden windfall, with enough funds having miraculously materialized f or the hiring of domestic help? Seriously ?
    I wondered if her domestic duties included cuddling. Adam had a habit of cuddling with me in my bed. Believe me! Cuddling was all we did! He also has a little problem with… well… let’ s just say his hard drive has been downloaded to a floppy disk.
    Needless to say, he had never once mentioned the acquisition of a dust bunny. How much would you care to wager his housekeeper’ s eyes were of the slanted variety? “Then your house should be quite spotless. Let me in, Adam .”
    “She hasn’ t started cleaning yet. In fact … toda y is her first day. She’s only been here a few minutes!”
    “That’ s okay, I don’ t ha ve anything else to do today. I’ ll help her clean. You know, since I own a cleaning company ! Quite frankly , I’ m surprised that, since I own a cleaning company , you didn’ t at least come to me for some suggestions on who to hire.”
    “Well, I would have. But … honestly … she just up and volunteered to do it.”
    Oh! So residents of the red light district rendered their services for free nowadays. I was standing on the precipice of losing my last remaining thread of composure right there on his front porch in front of God and fellow countrymen.
    “That w as really generous of her, wasn’ t it? Anyway, let me in. I need to check out her cleaning supplies and ask if she has any tried and true remedies for that nasty bathtub grout.”
    Obviousl y there was n’ t a bottle of 409 on the premises . “Oh! I forgot… today’s not her cleaning day. She happened to be in the neighborhood, so she stopped by to bring me a plate of food. Look at me, Eve ! I was asleep!” He yawned mightily as further proof.
    He had been asleep, that much was true. But did it prove a thing? Nope. Sure didn’ t. For no matter how long she had been there , one glaring fact remained. She was there! 
    “I’ ll just bet she did stop by to bring you something to eat.” All pretenses flew out the window as I spat vehemently, “Did it smell like fish?”
    “No, Eve .” He shook his head vigorously from side to side and sighed a heartfelt sigh before continuing with his monotonous drive l. “You’ ve got it all wrong! It’ s not like that at all!”
    Then please be so kind as to rectify any misguided illusions, before you incite me to the violence that I am trying so hard to suppress! “Okay, since I have the situation all wrong, Adam , let’s try to clarify a few things. You did say you were asleep, right? So how on earth did she get in? Does she perchance have her own key?”
    “No, Eve ! She doesn’ t have a key!”
    I could almost hear the clanking wheels grinding and beginning to spin in his feeble brain. “ Um… I must have forgotten and left the door un locked last night.” H e jerked toilet paper from the roll and de cided t hat now might be the perfect time to dust cobwebs from the windowsill. One might have assumed him leaving that tiresome chore for his new goddess of domesticity. “I heard you