Messy Beautiful Love Read Online Free PDF Page A

floor had a gouge in it the size of the Grand Canyon. My husband was my boss, and I was his disgruntled employee.
    I loved him, but that loving feeling was wearing dangerously thin. Over the years I’ve come to learn that a loving feeling is just that, a feeling. It comes as quickly as a gust of wind and can leave just as rapidly. If we want that loving feeling to thrive in marriage, we have to roll up our sleeves and get tough when the going gets rough.
    True love, the way God intended it to be, is more than a feeling and much more than two words. It’s holding hands as you walk through the fire. It’s being patient and kind when everything inside you tells you that this man deserves the wrath of your anger. It’s offering grace and forgiveness in the face of despair. It is easier to say and easier to write than it is to live, but as Mom always said, “The best things in life don’t come easy.”
    The best things in life get messy before they get good. God has never promised us days without pain because He knows that trials are the very things that strengthen us and that His grace is made perfect when we are weak. A wise woman knows that joy and peace come from the Lord, while a foolish one seeks happiness anywhere she can find it.
    The marks on the floor, the dust in the air, the piles of books that clouded the view of my husband—none of those things were the root of my problem. They were nothing more than trials that tested my faith. My problem was a heart issue that could be healed only by compassion and grace. If I had known that, I would have chosen a different path for my marriage, but instead I chose to let my anger and unforgiveness draw me away and consume my heart with lust. Here’s the thing: love doesn’t get angry when others do it wrong . And we will do it wrong again and again.
    Couples in love do a lot of things right, but let’s face it, we also tend to do a lot of things wrong. Maybe they aren’t even wrong sometimes; they just aren’t the way that we’d choose to do them. And so those little things—his leaving dirty socks on the couch or dragging sawdust into the house—can chip away at our patience day after day until we’re so angry that we don’t remember why.
    The path to separation is paved by selfish ambition and pride, but when we move pride aside to make room for loveas God designed it to be, we see two hearts joining together as one. His desire for us is that we might be one in the bond of unity in the same way that we are one in the union and fellowship of Christ. This is why “the two shall become one flesh” (Mark 10:8 NKJV ).
    If we want marriage to reflect the relationship between Jesus Christ and His church, and if we want to live in unity, we must be filled with compassion, mercy, and grace. We’ve been forgiven. Therefore, we have much to forgive, including someone who doesn’t love us the way that we think we should be loved. Paul urged us, “Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive” (Col. 3:12–13 ESV ).
    Regardless of where you are in your marriage, whether you are dealing with the messy or enjoying your first steps together as husband and wife, be reminded that both of you are on the same team. It’s not flesh and blood that you wrestle against as you walk through the fire. There’s a spiritual battle that will threaten to tear you apart. Remember that “the trial of your faith, being much more precious than of gold that perisheth, though it be tried with fire, might be found unto praise and honour and glory at the appearing of Jesus Christ” (1 Peter 1:7).
    THE CHALLENGE
    Although your goal might be to work on your marriage, love must start with the preparation of a graceful heart. Take time out of your day to specifically ask God