Merry Random Christmas Read Online Free PDF

gerbil!”
    I smothered a grin.
    “And you’re the boy who helped save his life!” she said, looking at me with a glowing countenance that just made Joe turn a deeper shade of purple.
    “Here,” she insiste d, shoving the giant stack of money into my hands. “This is for your girlfriend. Whatever she did, I’m sure you’ll need help. And we certainly would never expect you two to have live sex for money!”
    “Sure we would!” someone else protested .
    I dropped some of the dollar bills on the ground. Joe scrambled over and picked them up, cocking one eyebrow and giving me a look that said, Do we dare take it?  
    Either that, or Can we get more out of them?  
    Knowing Joe, it was the latter.
    “ We could lose our jobs if this little party made its way online. Please don’t twat us,” the hostess begged.  
    Joe snickered.
    “Tweet,” I corrected. “Don’t worry. Twitter is passé. People only use it to try to sell stuff now, or track sports stuff. Nothing important actually happens there. And we won’t out you. But someone did post pictures of Joe while he was stripping, and those are all over Instagram .”
    “ What’s Instagram?” someone asked. I looked. Over forty. Knew it.  
    “But the y’re only of him , right?” the hostess asked, frowning and pointing at Joe. “None of us were on camera. No one took a picture of our faces.”  
    “Plenty of pics of my ass, but none of your faces,” Joe answered.
    Relief poured through the crowd.
    I reached for the hostess and dipped her back for a kiss, imitating Liam when he was on stage and playing the crowd. The kiss was sweet, the woman laughing the whole time.
    Joe shoved t he bills in his pockets and in under a minute, we’d kiss ed every single one of them and let them take selfies with us.
    And with that, we ran into the night to catch the train, off to find Darla.
    We boarded the train to Cambridge and I settled in to read all my notifications.
    Bzzz.
    Where the fuck are you two? Darla texted.
    I handed Joe his phone, his face lighting up at the sight. He struggled to keep all the cash in his pockets and not draw the attention of two drunk, pee-scented dudes eyeing us with yellowed corneas and expressions that put me on notice.
    In Davis Square. On our way to you. Where are you? I replied.
    In hell, she answered.
    Still with Joanne? I typed.
    You guessed? she answered.
    Well, hell...you know. I hope you’re okay, I texted back.
    And then she never answered.
    Ten minutes after her last text, Joe turned to me with a grim look.
    “I’ m pretty sure I know where she is.”

Chapter Four
    Joe
    “ Told you,” I said, nudging Trevor as we walked through the door at Jeddy’s Diner. Darla was alone, sitting at a booth, her phone face-down on the scarred tabletop, about as useless as Trevor’s hard-on at the party half an hour ago.  
    “I can’t believe she’s here.” We walked in the door and Darla looked up, her eyes lifting but chin staying down, jaw set with a kind of grim determination that made my stomach twist a little.
    Whatever we’d been through these past few hours, it had paled in comparison to Darla’s experiences.
    A cup of coffee, still steaming, sat in front of her, with a second coffee on the other side of the booth. Two water glasses. Trev and I shared a look of questioning, but right now was not the time to drill her.
    “You found me,” she said, dejected and forlorn. Darla’s head hung low, her hair limp and a few pieces dirty at the ends. She was wearing a coat I didn’t recognize, open and unzipped. It was covered in paint splotches and had the frayed look of a hand-me-down. Underneath I saw red suspenders over her shoulders and a dingy, rust-stained white silk shirt. If we were back at our apartment right now, I’d strip her naked, throw away every stitch of clothing and make her take a shower until the hot water ran out.  
    I looked under the booth. Unlaced construction boots, the color of a golden retriever