Merit Badge Murder Read Online Free PDF Page B

seem like I was strangling kittens in front of school children.
    Riley looked at me. "See what you did?" He motioned to the couch.
    Not having the faintest clue what to do next, I sat down next to the wailing Russian and tried to calm her.
    "Now, Lana. It's not that I don't want you. It's just a bad time right now. I can't look after you. I've got… stuff going on." What stuff I didn't know, but I did know it didn't include this knockout blonde bimbo.
    She looked at me. How did she manage to cry and still look beautiful? Seriously, her eyes weren't red, and her makeup wasn't smeary.
    "It is just…just that I miss Putee. He threw me out!" She went back to wailing.
    "Putee" was a certain Russian president she was working over for me. She did a good job. But women like Lana always put a little too much of their hearts into their playacting. And it hurt when they got turned out. Which is why I'd never resorted to seduction as a tool in my tradecraft kit.
    "I'm sorry," I said as I awkwardly patted her arm. Damn, her skin was firm and soft at the same time.
    Lana looked at me. The tears stopped. Just like that. Then she threw her arms around me, strangling me with her firm/soft arms.
    "Oh yes! Finny says I can stay! Thank you, Finny! You really are my best friend!"
    I was trapped. And Riley knew it as he grinned smugly above us. The day you retire, buddy, I'll be in the shadows with a baseball bat.

CHAPTER FIVE
     
    "So," I said to Lana once Riley had gone, "where's your luggage?" Not that the luggage mattered really. I was still reeling from the news that I now had a roommate.
    Lana shook her head sadly. "This is it. They extracted me before I could pack anything."
    I had to admit—she looked uncomfortable. "Okay, well, we'll go shopping then, because you can't run around here dressed like that."
    "Did you know you have a large dent in the front of your car?" Lana said as she squeezed herself into my tiny vehicle. While I scrubbed off the blood.
    I nodded. "Yes. I ran over Carlos the Armadillo earlier. Now behave yourself, or that's what will happen to you."
    Lana nodded solemnly as she put on her seatbelt. I tossed the bloody towel and got in, starting the car and heading for the mall. We'd have to get her clothes and toiletries. It looked like I'd have to pay for everything, but since I was now a consultant , I could put it on the bill I'd send the agency. The very large, impossibly padded, possibly outright bullshit bill. This was going to cost Riley.
    Have you ever taken a knockout blonde shopping? Me neither. It was a fiasco. Apparently malls are the domain of teenagers. And teenage boys are gawkers. I had a pack of them following us around. There's nothing like being followed by a group of pimply adolescent boys who didn't speak and for some reason always had their hands in their pockets. It was disturbing to say the least.
    Lana didn't seem to notice them. She was gleefully skipping from one store to the next, grabbing tube tops and tiny shorts. At one point, she held up what looked like a sock but turned out to be a dress. Three of the boys behind us fainted.
    "No," I said firmly. "You have to blend in. I'm not buying you clothes that would usually be seen circling a stripper pole in Vegas." Behind me, a couple of the boys growled as menacingly as they could with squeaky voices that hadn't changed yet.
    I turned around and glared at them. "Really?" I asked.
    The boys turned as one unit and were suddenly fascinated by the pink and glittery princess display outside the Disney Store.
    Lana pouted as I dragged her to The Gap and made her try on khakis, capri pants, and shorts befitting a Midwestern woman. I threw in some light sweaters, T-shirts, and button down shirts. Lana didn't argue, and she even came out to show me what she was trying on. Unfortunately, with her huge boobs and slim frame, everything looked like it was molded to her body.
    We hit the shoe store and got her a pair of ballet flats, some tennis shoes, and