Magic and the Modern Girl Read Online Free PDF Page B

warder?”
    I heard the questions that he didn’t ask. Why hadn’t I summoned him? Why had I been content to let my powers go unused for so long? Why hadn’t I thought—even once—to reach out to the warder who had stood by me, through physical and emotional battles, for well over a year?
    “I’ve been busy,” I said, even though no one had asked me to explain myself. “Work has been crazy, with the program I’m putting together on the James River plantations. I’m mentoring an intern. I’ve been trying to be a good librarian. And a good daughter—Clara can exhaust anyone , you know. And a good granddaughter, too. Gran isn’t as healthy as she was—even though my crystals got her through pneumonia a couple of years ago, that illness really took a toll.”
    I heard the crazed note behind my words, the pressure I was putting on myself to explain. To justify. To make excuses.
    I should apologize, but I didn’t know how. I couldn’t make myself say the words. But when David didn’t bother to respond, I forced myself to take a deep breath. “All right, then,” I said, and I made myself meet his eyes. “What do I do now? How do I make this right?”
    Melissa and Neko might have disappeared from my kitchen, drifted away as thoroughly as the ink lines in my books, for all the attention that David gave them. Instead, he stared at me, pierced me with his gaze. I longed to reach for my chilled glass, to ease the sudden ache in my throat with a tangy sip of mint and lime. I was frightened. That must have been it. He frightened me, and so I said, “I’m your witch. You’re my warder. You have to help me. Now.”
    I had never ordered him to do anything before.
    Oh, I’d asked for his help countless times. I’d whined. I’d protested his requirements. But I had never stated our relationship as a bald fact, never mandated his compliance with such an air of authority. I watched his Adam’s apple bob as he swallowed, and then he said, “Work a spell.”
    “That’s it?”
    “Not just any spell,” he said, cutting short the laugh that bubbled up in my throat. His tone was sharp. Brutal. Like the ceremonial sword that I’d seen him carry in my defense the year before. Goose bumps rose on my arms. “Something special. Something strong. Something that pulls and twists your powers, that makes you use everything you have at your disposal, all of your abilities.”
    He sounded like he would enjoy watching me drained of my power. “Like what?” I asked.
    “Jane, there are some things you’re just going to have to learn for yourself.”
    “Something like awakening a familiar? Is that enough?”
    “You can’t think in terms of ‘enough’!” His shout made me jump. I glanced at Melissa, and she had curled her fingers around the edge of the kitchen counter, as if she were seeking strength in the ordinary, in the mundane. Neko cringed and turned his head away from both of us. David went on. “This isn’t about ‘enough.’ This is serious. You need to grow. Build your powers. Become a better witch. Or you won’t be one at all. And if you aren’t a witch, then Neko won’t be your familiar. I won’t be your warder. We’ll both be gone, assigned to the next witch who claims us.”
    Fear beat in my chest, smothering me with its fluttering wings. “But how can I come up with options, if I can’t even read the books downstairs?”
    “Build a buffer, Jane.” He shrugged as if any idiot could have figured that out. “Work some minor spells. Store the effect and build up a reserve.”
    “Like what? Do the dishes with a water spell?”
    “That could be a good beginning,” he said, with a dismissive glance toward my kitchen counter. My counter, and my morning cereal bowl. And last night’s tea mug. And a plate with toast crumbs from I couldn’t remember when.
    I blushed, and my embarrassment about my housekeeping made me even more terse with him. “But when should I do the real working? The one that will