Maggie Malone Gets the Royal Treatment Read Online Free PDF Page A

lowest life-form in the royal food chain,” I say, figuring that ought to pry him away from whatever he’s busy doing.
    â€œHey there, Maggie,” Frank says with a grin as he comes into focus in the top right side of my vanity mirror. “Or are you just going by plain old Handmaiden these days?”
    â€œVery funny,” I huff.
    â€œYou’d think that girl would have come up with a better name—something to make the job sound more attractive—maybe something like ‘darling duchesses’ or ‘happy helpers,’” Frank says, cracking himself up. “But no, she didn’t even go to the trouble of putting lipstick on a pig. She just called you gals straight-up handmaidens . She might as well have called you her minions!”
    â€œI tried not to agree to it—you know I did,” I explained. “But I would’ve thrown my new friends under the bus. And Lucy would have torched them, for sure!”
    â€œUh-huh,” Frank says, as a cloud of dust follows a couple of horses pulling an old-timey-looking stagecoach right behind him.
    â€œWhat the heck?” I say, leaning in to get a better look. “Where in the world are you, Frank?”
    â€œOh, I’m just spending a little time here in the Old Wild West, Malone,” Frank says, spitting something dark and slimy out of the corner of his mouth.
    â€œI really wish I could unsee that, Frank,” I say, turning my head and gagging a little.
    â€œIt’s every man for himself out here, handminion. Sink or swim. Get up or shut up,” he explains as a pair of wooden doors swing behind him. “You’ve got to stick up for yourself in these parts or you might as well lie down and let the buzzards pick you apart.”
    â€œUm, yeah well, that’s disgusting,” I say. “It sounds really rough out there and all, Frank. But listen. I know you’re probably short on time and not to be all about me , but can we talk about me for a sec?”
    â€œWe are talking about you,” Frank laughs.
    â€œWhat does your dirty Wild West adventure have to do with me , Frank?”
    â€œOh, I don’t know, handmaiden. Are you standing up or are you lying down?” Frank asks.
    â€œHuh?” I ask. “I’m not doing either one, Frank. I’m sitting here at my vanity talking to you!”
    â€œLook, kid, I’m about to be late for a card game with Coyote Cain, and if I am, I’ll have to start the game in my skivvies. I think you’d agree that nobody needs to see that…”
    â€œWait! Frank!” I yell, but it’s no use.
    â€œSTAND UP, Malone!” he says, and I see him shaking his head as he goes blurry, like a watery pool. Then he’s gone.
    I do what he says. I stand up. But what do I do now ? Frank just loves to pull the mysterious genie card. I think it’s like his favorite thing to do. You know, toss out some crazy comments that make no sense and then leave me alone to try and piece them all together. Not to go on a Frank rant, but I always thought that genies were supposed to be at your beck and call . Frank is definitely not. I don’t know about the beck part, but he hardly ever sticks around when I call.
    Well, I knew he’d give me a hard time for going along with the crowd to keep the peace. He’s always telling me to “ Stay Maggie. Be yourself. ” It’s true, being a handmaiden is not exactly what I’d call being myself. But what else was I supposed to do? And now I’m Lucy St. Claire’s handmaiden for the foreseeable future.
    Or . Or I could skedaddle right out of here. Leave this fake princess business behind and find out what it’s like to be a real princess. The Princess Mimi to be exact, who I’m completely sure never has to put up with a royal pain like Lucy St. Claire pushing her around.

Chapter 7

    When I Wake Up in Wincastle
    Me, Maggie Malone, a real princess.