Maggie for Hire Read Online Free PDF Page A

wanted all the bureaucrats to feel at home.  The guards on the turrets lowered their crossbows as they saw who it was.  I gave them a little wave as I drove across the drawbridge.
    I parked right next to the Bureau of Records and jumped out of my car.
    The office was cramped.  Filing cabinets and a large desk took up most of the space.  What was left over was taken up by the ogre processing paperwork.
    “Hey, Frank!”
    He looked up at me with his one eye and sighed, “Shit.  You?  They had to call you?”
    “Easy, Frank, you’ll make me think you don’t like me.”
    He let out a huff, sending a rank breeze of halitosis my way.  Eyes watering, I reached into my bag and pulled out a box, “Breath mint?”
    “You’re lucky I let you live.”  He took a mint in his massive paws and chewed it thoughtfully before handing me a folder, “Here’s the skip.  Ghoul named Izpanki.  Said he had business on the Other Side and outstayed his travel plans.”
    I flipped through the file.  Seemed routine enough.  Ghouls are tough in that they can take the form of whatever they have most recently eaten, but are notoriously lazy and tend to hang out in cemeteries like nursing home residents waiting for the buffet line to open.
    I tucked the file in my purse, “Thanks, Frank.  I will count the moments until we are reunited.”
    Frank let out a loud, ripping fart and then smirked at me.
    I seriously needed to reconsider my career path.
    As I drove away, I began to mentally note all the items needing to be checked off prior to departure.  Laundry, cat sitter for Mac...
    ...and Killian.
    He said he would be waiting for me, and as I turned the corner, sure enough, there he was, perched on one leg like a goddamned stork.  Knowing he’d stand like that for a century without shifting, I decided I should relieve the poor bastard.
    I pulled in front of him and opened the door from the inside.  He hopped in and buckled his seatbelt, “Did you learn anything of use?”
    “Yah.”
    “Care to expound?”
    I sighed, “Mom said my uncle is responsible for the weakening border.  He got stuck on Earth and is probably trying to get home to the Other Side.  She said I should bring you with me.”
    “I have always thought her to be a wise woman.”
    “You know my mom?”
    “Know ‘of’ your mom.”
    “Let’s keep it that way, shall we?”
    I pulled into the driveway of my home, shut off the car and gathered up my files.
    “What is that in your hand?” Killian asked, pointing at the file about the ghoul.
    “Eh, just a job I decided to pick up.”
    He placed his hand on my arm, “I am sorry if I was not clear, but you have a task you are bound to.”
    “Don’t get your boxers in a bunch.  I may be bound to save the world, but I have bills.”
    “My mistress, the Queen of the Elves, can provide for you...”
    I held up my hand and stopped him right there, “Listen, it’s bad enough I have to haul you around, I’m not going on any magical princess’s payroll.  Besides, it gives us a great cover while we hunt down my uncle.  Now, would you get out of my way so I can open the door?”
    Once inside, I placed a couple calls, begged a professional service to make sure nothing ate Mac while I was gone, and went upstairs to throw some clothes into my suitcase.  But as soon as I shut the bedroom door behind me, I picked up the phone again.
    “Hello?” came a soft, feminine voice on the other end.
    “Mindy!”
    “Maggie?”
    Mindy was that twin sister of mine living on Earth - married to a really nice guy named Austin, two car household, family dog, flossed regularly and ate five fruits and vegetables a day.
    I tucked the phone on my shoulder and started packing.  I could hear pots and pans clanging in the background.  I’m sure she was probably whipping together a caramelized duck l’orange soufflé casserole flambé from scratch or something.
    “Mind if I come hang out in your guest room for a week or