Made That Way Read Online Free PDF

way. “What happened to your horn?”
    He turns away. I can see his face in profile, which makes the absence more obvious.
    â€œAnd why can you call me by my name and I can’t call you anything? Is that fair?” I can feel my frustration building. I know I’m going to cry and when that starts I’ll wake up. I don’t have much time left. “What kind of spiritual creature are you anyway?”
    His head sweeps back slowly and he considers me with deep dark sad eyes.
    â€œFlawed, just like the rest of you,” he says.
    I throw my arms around his neck, hold him and sob.
    Of course this wakes me up.
    It’s still early.
    I ease myself out of bed, hoping not to give myself a headache right away. I part the curtains and look out the window for a while. I can tell it’s going to be another hot day, there’s not a cloud anywhere.
    I can hear my parents chattering away to each other in the bathroom. I wonder how it is that they never seem to run out of things to talk about despite sleeping with each other all night and having lived with each other for a couple of decades.
    I stand in front of my mirror. I sleep in a long t-shirt. My mom used to buy me nighties with frills and cutesy pictures on them, and I thought this was my only option until I met Kansas. I helped her fold her laundry once. All she ever sleeps in is t-shirts.
    I roll my sleeves up over my shoulders and flex my biceps. A small bulge forms, about the size of half a golf ball. Kansas says not to worry, that doing barn chores and learning to ride will develop all sorts of muscles.
    I turn sideways to the mirror and pull in my stomach and puff out my chest muscles.
    That’s when Mom peeks her head in the door. “Oh, you’re up already, Pumpkin?” she says. And before I can answer she comes in, shuts the door behind her and sits on the edge of my bed. She has my injection in her hand but she’s lost interest. “You know, Sweetie, there’s no reason you can’t wear a padded bra . . . until the medication starts working.”
    â€œWhat?” I say. Then I look back to my reflection in the mirror. “Mom, no. I was checking my muscles. ”
    â€œNo one would need to know,” says Mom. “Auntie Sally says the best place to go is that lingerie shop on Fifth Street.”
    â€œYou talked to Auntie Sally?” I am so mortified.
    â€œShe went there for Erika,” says Mom, as if this would make me feel better. Erika is ten.
    She’s relentless. I do what I have to do to get her off my case, though in a way it’s too late already because my headache has come back. “I’ll think about it,” I say. I sit on the bed beside her.
    â€œOh good,” she says. “Can you phone Grandpa before you go to the barn today and let him know everything worked out fine yesterday? We should have called him last night but we forgot.”
    â€œOkay,” I say. I’d rather not get into a discussion with her about whether or not everything really worked out fine yesterday.
    She waggles the injector in front of me. “I have your medication.”
    â€œMom, I have a headache.”
    â€œAgain?”
    Finally she’s heard me. Finally I have her complete attention. “Still. I always have a headache. Yesterday I threw up. It’s from the growth hormone.”
    â€œNow what makes you think that, Sweetie? They told us there should be no side effects. And didn’t Dr. Cleveland say yesterday that she thought you were just anxious? She should know.”
    I stare at my thigh and wonder if I can say that a unicorn in my dreams told me the headaches were from the medication. My mom would never buy it. I wouldn’t buy it myself, except it makes such perfect sense.
    I feel the sting on my thigh as she administers the dose. “I’m sure it’s just all the excitement, Honey.”
    â€œMom, it’s more than that.”
    She cocks her head