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vulgar. Now this is not surprisin’ considerin’ the Bazaar is the main source for their recruitin’, but it makes for some teeth-grindin’ inequalities in the pay scales.
    Before the wrong idea is given, let me elucidate for a moment on the point of view I am comin’ from. I personally don’t care much who or what is workin’ next to me as long as they can carry their share of the job. You will notice I have not even mentioned that Roxie is bright orange and Sion is mauve, as I feel this has nothin’ to do with my assessment of their personalities or their abilities. I will admit to bein’ a little uneasy around bein’s what got more arms or legs than I do, but this is more a professional reaction, since should the occasion arise that we might have a difference of opinion, my fightin’ style is intended for opposition what can throw the same number of punches and kicks per side as I can, and a few extra fists can make a big difference. But, as I say, this is more a professional wariness than any judgment on their overall worth as bein’s, I only mention this on the off chance that some of my remarks about strange bein’s might be taken as bein’ pergerdous, a rap of which I have never been convicted. I am not that sort of person.
    As I was sayin’, though, the plant has lots of strange bein’s workin’ the line. The indignity of the situation, however, is that even though they got these extra arms and in some cases is doin’ the work of several worker types, they is gettin’ paid the same as anyone else. While to some this might seem unfair to the ones bein’ so exploited, I see it as a threat to the worker types with the usual count of arms and legs, as it will obviously save the company significant cost if they can hire as many of the former as possible, whilst layin’ off a disproportionate number of the latter.
    Another inequality I observe concerns the security types which I have been unable to circumvent. Now this has been a source of curiosity to me since I first arrived at the plant, since it doesn’t take an accountin’ whiz to figure out that if the plant is payin’ the security types what they’re worth, their cost should be substantially more than would seem economically wise. I chance across the answer one time when I happen to eavesdrop on a couple off-duty lunchin’ security types who are gripin’ about their jobs. It seems that they are underpaid as much as us workin’ types, despite the fact that they are safeguardin’ stuff worth millions! While this is doubtlessly unfair, I do not include it in my notes because I have found that it is not only not unusual, but is actually customary for plants or societies to underpay their guardian types. I suppose that as bonkers as it seems, this is in actuality the way things should be. If guardian types made a decent wage, then criminal types like me would go into that line of work as it has better hours and better retirement benefits than the career path I am currently pursuin’, and if there was no crime there would be no need for guardian types and we would all end up unemployed. Viewin’ it that way, the status quo is probably for the best.
    Anyway, I continues to keep my eyes and ears open until I feel I have gathered sufficient injustices to make my point, then I wait for the right moment to present my findin’s. This proves to be no great test of my patience, since, as I have noted, the worker types love to gripe about their jobs and tonight proves to be no exception to this rule.
    “What do you think, Guido?” Roxie sez, turnin’ to me. “Do the guys workin’ the Dribble Toilets have it worse than the ones workin’ the Battery-Operated Whoopee Cushions?”
    I make a big show of thinkin’ hard before I give my answer.
    “I think,” I sez carefully, “that if brains was dynamite, the whole plant wouldn’t have the powder to blow its nose.”
    It takes him a minute to get my drift, but when he does, his eyes go real