other.
“Um,” I thought fast. “Ah ha. Half a dozen skeins of yarn, whenever and whatever color you want from that craft store you like so well. The expensive stuff.”
Silence.
“Make it the half dozen and you help me raid an attic in the next few weeks and you’ve got a deal.”
“Done.” I wasn’t stupid, at this point I’d agree to pretty much anything. Besides, I loved raiding attics. If Faith really want to stick it to me, she would’ve demanded a pair of shoes from my extensive collection.
“Can you be here in ten?” I pleaded until Faith gave in. “Please, please, please.”
“I’ll do my best.”
“Great thanks.”
Call ended I pressed my now quiet cell phone to my ear, waylaying any chance of friendly conversation as I exited my corner, scouring the groom’s side for a seat.
This task alone had my pulse jumping up a notch. For my plan to go off without a hitch, I needed to be near the back and have aisle access. If not, the chances of this getting out of hand were going to sky rocket. It was going to be tricky enough to pull off without the ensuing witch hunt. And a witch hunt, well, that’s one event I do not care to repeat.
Chapter 2
There Goes the Groom
Danton
I really, really. . . really didn’t want to be here.
Here was standing at the front of the church as best man to my first cousin’s fiancée.
I love Melanie as if she were my own sister, but this could be taking family loyalty too far. I don’t do weddings. Unfortunately for me - and the rest of male-kind- Melanie DeAngelo is cut from the same cloth as her aunt, my mother. A woman she’s not even biologically related too, yet seems to bare an uncanny resemblance in mental outlook to. Funny thing, now that I think about, every female in my family who is attached to the DeAngelo name some way shape or form thinks much along the same lines.
Each one of them believes deeply in true love; in finding their prince no matter how many frogs they have to kiss. Problem is, like in my mother’s case, they must first marry their frog before determining that his amphibian tendencies are all too permanent. Trust me, that comes to a lot of weddings.
From where I’m standing Melanie is only minutes away from beginning the same journey. Don’t get me wrong I like Stephen well enough. Having only meet the guy a handful of times, I have no real bar of judgment by with which to measure him, but he seems to have his head on his shoulders. It’s the whole binding yourself morally and physically to a human being of the opposite sex that I have a problem with. No one, in my opinion, should have that amount of control over another person. It never turns our well.
Take my mom for instance, a woman with a healthy lack of respect for the institution of matrimony. Her count currently stands at one toad, four frogs. The toad being my father with whom she holds the record of twenty consecutive years of marriage-they’ve been divorced for the past ten.
Frog number four, has managed to make the two year mark- a rare feat. Poor sap, I give him only a few more months until my mom’s sitting in her attorney’s office filing papers for dissolution.
It still boggles my mind that even after my parents’ divorce, an occasion that usually severs any and all ties of familiarity, my parents were still chummy. Case in point, my mother is here, current frog in tow, at her ex-husband’s niece’s wedding talking with him as if the past thirty years had never happened. As if they had never laughed, never loved.
Heaven forbid I get bitten by that nasty ol’ love bug, I would be anything but civil should my ex-wife decide to remarry. What’s mine, stays mine!
So thanks to the pursuit of true love and family ties, I’m now stuck in a traditional penguin suit complete with tails and most of my five senses on overload making hearing, seeing, and breathing for the next few minutes out of the question.
Standing at the alter, the afternoon sun filtering