Love, Stargirl Read Online Free PDF Page B

weren’t brave enough to be yourself
    4. You chose Them over Me
    5. You’re emptying my happy wagon

    March 29
    Down to one pebble.
             
    March 30
    Leo! Save me from an empty wagon!
             
    April 1
    I had promised Dootsie I would take her to Bemus Park today. At the first corner we came to, Dootsie said, “I wanna wear them.” She was pointing at my earrings, the little silver lunch trucks that my father had a silversmith make for me in Tucson. I took them off. I went to put them on her ears, but she said, “
I
wanna do it.”
    “Okay,” I said, and handed them to her.
    Next thing I knew she tossed them into the nearby sewer, threw up her hands, and cried out, “April fools!”
    She was so pleased and proud of herself, I hated to spoil her fun. But you know me, Leo, I’m not exactly the world’s greatest actress. I couldn’t cover up my shock and disappointment. She saw it on my face. Her eyes grew wide, her smile vanished. She tugged on my finger. She peeped, “April fools?” I could only stare at the sewer grate. She howled, “I did it bad!” and started bawling.
    I hugged her and calmed her down. How do you explain the trickery of April Fools’ Day to a five-year-old? I tried to tell her how it works. I told her that in the end, the important thing is that the victim feels relieved and happy because things aren’t really so bad after all. The look on her face told me she wasn’t getting it. But I would soon find out she was getting it all right—just in her own way.
    We continued our walk to Bemus Park. Along the way I bought us each a pack of Skittles. It was the first warm Sunday of spring. The playground was an ant colony of little kids—swinging, climbing, darting this way and that, sawdust flying. Dootsie stationed herself at the bottom of the sliding board. As each slider landed, Dootsie held out a Skittle and said, “April fools!” Pretty soon every kid on the playground was lined up at the sliding board. When Dootsie’s Skittles were gone, she took mine.
    When the Skittles ran out, we started for home. We passed people in the park. Dootsie began unloading the rest of herself. To the first person, she gave a Mary Jane from her pocket. “April fools!” To another, she gave a pink quartz stone she had found. To another, a button that said THINK . To another, a paper clip. Each came with an “April fools!” and a giggle. And usually a puzzled smile from the recipient.
    When her pockets were empty, she took the red plastic Cracker Jack ring off her finger and gave that away. Then the pink rubber band on her wrist. She panicked when she saw the next person coming and realized she was empty. She reached for my Stone Bone fossil necklace. “No!” I said.
    I gave her the change in my pocket. Dootsie gave away my coins one at a time. I was hoping we would run out of people before we reached her house. We didn’t. Dootsie gave away the last nickel and again went for the fossil necklace. I straightened up, keeping the necklace out of her reach. She kept jumping, reaching, squeaking, “Gimme! Gimme!”
    I gave it. It was gone in a minute, and she was back at me. “Stargirl! More!”
    “Dootsie,” I said, “I’m empty. There’s nothing left.”
    I was lying. There was one thing left. It was a tiny brown feather of an elf owl. I had seen it clinging to the bird’s nest hole high in a saguaro near my enchanted place in the desert. I used a yucca stick to dislodge it. Since the day we moved from Arizona I’ve carried the elf owl feather everywhere I go.
    Dootsie was going for my pockets. I blocked her. The feather had come to mean you. Us. Stargirl and Leo. Blocking my pockets only made her suspicious. She knew I was holding back. “You have something!” she wailed. She was crying. Crying for lack of something to give.
    I had been crying a lot lately too. I remembered Archie’s words, the words you told me he said to you once: “Star people do not shed tears, but