slammed the door so soundly it made me flinch. I hurried to strip the mattress from his bed and I saw the evidence of my lost innocence. I felt disgusted with myself.
I was still naked as I quickly made my way to put my clothes and linens just outside the door and grabbed a fresh set from the nearby linen closet in the hallway to make his bed. It took all of ten minutes, in which he was still in the bath room, thank God.
I made my way quickly to the room he said was mine when he didn’t want to sleep beside me. At first, his explanation confused me, but I am so thanking God now for the reprieve this has given me. My cheek was burning and I knew tears were streaming down my face.
Luckily for me, the room also has an en suite, with a claw foot tub, which I love , and just the other normal bathroom stuff. Toilet, vanity, and sink. Closing the door to the bathroom, I put the sheets on the toilet and inspect myself in the mirror.
I was shocked to see a bruise marring my collarbone and hip from where he held me. My face was red and started to swell. Not from the hit either. Mostly from the crying. The space between my legs felt raw and made me whimper out in pain. I slowly turned around to turn the water on for a shower. I stood under the hard, heavy and blistering water and thought about what just happened.
I did not like that. Tears streamed down my face and I began to sob uncontrollably. My heart clenched like a fist. I punched the wall a few times to try and get out the anger I was starting to feel. I mean, who does that to a girl for their first time? I felt like screaming and I took my loofa and began scrubbing at my body to get the feel of him off me. I took gentle turns on the tenderness between my legs and came away with blood. I just stared at it for a time. All that time waiting? The differences I could feel in my body, made me finally feel ugly.
I must have been standing under the spray for a good amount of time because when I felt all cried out, the water started getting cold. Stepping out, I went to the vanity and wiped a hand across the mirror. My face felt puffy, and exhausted. I walked back to the bedroom and stumbled into my robe. I left the virgin stained sheets where I dropped them in the bathroom, and went back to Mikhail’s room. Surely, he would like to lay beside me and cuddle with me. Especially after tonight. I mean, couples cuddle and like to spend the night together, right?
I opened the door to his room and he’s lying on his back, wearing silk bottoms watching one of the scary thriller movies he loves so much.
“Sidda, what are you doing back in here? We finished and I want time to myself. It’s late and you need to rest. I intend to be pleased just like this every night or as much as possibly when I am here. So I need you well rested. So go back to your room and do just that. Now.”
His hard eyes made me obey quickly. I quietly went back to my room, and just gazed unseeingly.
Dear God in Heaven. What have I done?
5
Out too late? I had a curfew?
Hitting me by now wasn’t new anymore. Intimacy had not gotten any better. Then he starting calling me names. I tried leaving, he threatened me and when I told him I would go to the police, he threatened my family. My little nephews and niece. I kept silent and let him have his way.
I’ve been to the hospital once already with a broken wrist among other things. After a stupid argument about me coming home late from school. Really? He knows how important school is to me. I remembered that late night in August so vividly. It’s only been a few weeks since it happened. It turned from great to absolute terror in less than a minute.
2 weeks prior
I came home late from school during the new fall semester. I was a double major, majoring in Fashion Design & Merchandising and Business Management. I already acquired my Associates in both and was wanting to work on my bachelors.
The class ran an hour later than usual because
Under the Cover of the Moon (Cobblestone)