Lost in My Own Backyard: A Walk in Yellowstone National Park Read Online Free PDF Page A

like that of a high wind approaching. They also burp out a lot of hydrogen sulfide, that rotten-egg smell that Nathaniel Langford found so “villainous.”
    Mud pots, says
Lonely Planet Yellowstone,
are “created when rock is dissolved by the sulfuric acid in groundwater to create . . . a form of clay.” The pots are colored by dissolved minerals, mostly iron and sulfur.
    A boardwalk winds through these thermal features, taking you directly past some of the best mud pots. One pond of mud looks like a very thick stew, all chalky gray and bubbling merrily away as steam and gas rise to the surface. The mud bubbles burst with the precise sound a human makes when relieving himself of gas. There are dozens of bubbles, all bursting at once and all throwing up dribs and drabs of color.
    The boardwalk then heads downhill, into a small basin. Small thermal streams run this way and that, fed by hot springs, which are composed of superheated water that rises to the surface without benefit of eruption. The hot pools, like the mud pots, derive their delicate colors—emerald green, cobalt blue—from dissolved minerals.
    Then you are in the Artists’ Paintpots, where more than half a dozen ponds full of colorful clay appear to boil flatulently. If an artist were to use these colors, he’d compose a picture in rusty reds and cornflower blues and chalky grays.
    On my last trip to these mud pots, a few other visitors strolled about the boardwalk, nudging one another and making jokes about the bathroom sounds. Then they were gone, and I was alone with the mud pots for over an hour, thinking about artists and hotspots as well as flatulence and the end of civilization as we know it.

Monument Geyser Basin
    T HIS IS THE ONLY “BASIN” I KNOW THAT REQUIRES a stiff uphill climb. The trailhead is located on the west side of the Gibbon River, at the Gibbon River pull-off.
    A sign reads ATTENTION HIKERS , and continues in a merry manner: WE STRONGLY RECOMMEND HIKING IN PARTIES OF 3 OR MORE PEOPLE AND STAYING ON MAINTAINED TRAILS . HIKING OFF-TRAIL INCREASES THE RISK OF ENCOUNTERING BEARS . And then, just in case the visitor hasn’t taken the point, the sign reads, in HUGE letters, THERE IS NO GUARANTEE OF YOUR SAFETY. The admonition concludes, IF YOU ARE UNCOMFORTABLE WITH THIS SITUATION, YOU MAY CHOOSE TO HIKE ELSEWHERE .
    About twenty yards farther on the visitor is confronted by yet another sign that suggests, IF YOU ENCOUNTER A BEAR, STAY CALM. DO NOT RUN . Easy to say, more difficult to accomplish. MANY CHARGES , the sign advises, ARE BLUFF CHARGES . This seems to imply that, on occasion, bears charge with deadly intent.
    One day I came upon a young couple standing there, studying the sign, as if memorizing the suggestion that, in the face of a charging bear, one might want to SLOWLY DETOUR OR BACK AWAY . If a bear attacks, victims are advised to PLAY DEAD. DROP TO THE GROUND, LIFT YOUR LEGS TO YOUR CHEST, AND CLASP YOUR HANDS OVER THE BACK OF YOUR NECK. WEARING YOUR PACK WILL SHIELD YOUR BODY . Especially if it’s one of those bulletproof Kevlar ones.
    The young couple and I exchanged greetings. They were, it turned out, from Virginia and quite familiar with black bears. When they learned that I lived in the area, they asked me about grizzly bears. I told them the truth, that I’d seen quite a few, some from the safety of a vehicle, some while I was on foot. The bears I’d seen while on foot were always a goodly distance away, and I’d never feared greatly for my life.
    As we walked along, we passed one more sign, apparently posted for the dullest of the dull, the ones who simply refuse to “get it.” In huge letters the sign said, THERE IS NO GUARANTEE OF YOUR SAFETY WHILE HIKING OR CAMPING IN BEAR COUNTRY. The advisory continued, DON’T TRAVEL ALONE (as I had been, until I met up with the couple perusing the signs). The sign said that it was a bad idea to travel after dark and that it was wise to USE CAUTION WHERE VISION IS