Losing Nuka (Litmus Book 1) Read Online Free PDF Page A

going. I can’t … I can’t face them. Not yet. Maybe one day I’ll be able to look at them and not wonder what else they’re hiding from me, but right now? I just … can’t do it.”
    “They miss you, Nuke. It’s been three years.”
    “I don’t care.” Liar! I wish I were telling the truth.

-3-
    MY BEST FRIEND
     
     
    “Come on, Striker,” Declan yells through the bathroom door. “Birthday celebrations are going to start in five minutes.”
    “Yeah, because nothing says fun like needing to stick to a schedule,” I yell back. “And that name’s still not becoming a thing!”
    I’m looking forward to this. I need a night out to relax. Declan’s right, I’ve been obsessing over finding Cade for three years, and I’m completely exhausted.
    I check myself over one more time in the mirror. My blonde hair is styled into long curls and flows down my back. My black halter top sits perfectly thanks to some strategically placed double-sided tape so I’m showing off just enough side boob, and my tight dark short-shorts and five-inch heels make my butt look awesome. I’m ready. The only thing I’m missing are my contacts. Declan friggin’ hid them on me, claiming I had to look like “myself” on my birthday. Even though, technically, my birthday was days ago now.
    He likes my purple eyes, but he doesn’t have to answer all the questions I get about them. The irony isn’t lost on me that I have to wear coloured contact lenses to escape being asked if I wear contacts.
    Declan’s ready and waiting for me when I get out of the bathroom. He’s dressed in dark jeans and a black shirt, his dark hair purposefully styled to make it look like he just rolled out of bed. His mouth drops open when he catches sight of me.
    “What’s with the face?” 
    “You’re going to make tonight torture for me, aren’t you?” he says in a flirty tone … at least, I think it was flirty. Is Declan flirting with me?
    I raise my eyebrow at him, staring silently at my best friend, the person who’s been there for me ever since I met him at the playground up the street eleven years ago. I shake my head. There’s no way Declan looks at me that way.
    When I met him, we’d just moved into the neighbourhood, and Lia was heavily pregnant with Illy. Jayce asked me to take Will out so he could unpack without the help of an overactive four-year-old. Declan was at the skate park next to the playground, and I couldn’t keep my eyes off him. I was in awe of him from the moment we met. He’s the best person I know, inside and out.
    But it’s pretty safe to say, if nothing has happened between us in eleven years of friendship—not even a kiss—nothing ever will.
    “You’re going to be all over me all night because every single guy in the club is going to be hitting on you, and you’re going to be all ‘Declan, save me,’” he imitates me in a high-pitched voice.
    “Is that your way of telling me I look good?”
    He takes a step back, rubbing his stubbled chin as he mockingly assesses me. “You’ll do. Let’s go. We’re already late.”
    We get a taxi into the city, and as I go to pay for it, Declan pushes my hand away. “You don’t pay for anything tonight,” he says with a smile.
    I loop my arm through his as we enter the newest club in the city and have to navigate our way through a massive throng of people. This place is packed! Declan grabs my hand and holds it tight, leading me to a cordoned-off area with balloons.
    “Surprise,” he whispers in my ear.
    It isn’t until I hear my name being yelled that I recognise the group of people occupying the area as our old high school friends. I run towards the group and start hugging everyone. I haven’t seen most of them since school.
    Thanks to Lia’s stance against segregating Defectives, I went to a normal high school. She said we should set the standard that we won’t cower and won’t remove ourselves from society. So that means none of my friends here are