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"Mind if I come in for a moment?"
     
    "No, not at all," Emily lied, trying to hide the dread she felt.
     
    "I wanted to apologize for catching you off guard last night," he said as he sat in the chair next to the desk. He cleared his throat. "It came back to me only after we started talking about UVA."
     
    "Did you say anything to your parents?" she asked, staring at her book.
     
    "No," he said quickly, "and I won't." He cleared his throat again. "Emily, I don't even know how to tell you how sorry I am… about everything."
     
    She looked up at him, and saw the guilt in his kind eyes. "Joseph, you were a med student. You were as powerless as I was. But thank you," she said, reaching her hand out and laying it on his arm.
     
    "I don't know if it will mean anything to you, but the staff felt so horrible. Your situation sparked a big debate on how to handle issues like it in the future, and I don't think it would be the same now."
     
    "I'm glad of that," she murmured. "Joseph," she said, blinking hard, her throat tightening, "did she ever regain consciousness?"
     
    "No," he replied softly. "She just slipped away."
     
    Emily nodded, but didn't say any more. After a few moments, Joseph said, "Ann seems like a wonderful woman. Is she…?"
     
    "No!" Emily responded as she realized what he was asking. "She's just a friend. There hasn't been anyone else."
     
    "I'm sorry," he stammered, "I didn't mean to pry."
     
    "It's okay," she said. "It's just that I haven't had to deal with this so directly for a long time."
     
    "Well," he said, standing to go, "I'll let you get back to work."
     
    "I'll see you later," Emily smiled. She sat looking out the window for a long time, lost in memories.
     
     
     
     

Chapter 9
     
    F or the next few weeks, Emily buried herself in work. If she wasn't teaching or taking a class herself, she was studying, writing, doing research. Ann noticed a definite change in her demeanor. Emily had sat in on a couple of Lise's classes as part of her responsibility for supervising the teaching assistants. Ann tried to catch her eye, but Emily seemed to be avoiding any eye contact. Waiting out in the corridor where she could often overhear the last few minutes of Emily's class, she noticed that Emily had become more impatient with errors, a little terse in her responses. At the end of class, Emily was almost the first to leave, precluding any attempt at conversation. She also noticed that Emily hadn't been by the farm on morning runs, because she was out with Meg almost every morning, keeping an eye out for Emily's figure on the road.
     
    Ann got a little peeved about Emily's attitude at times, telling herself she wasn't worth worrying about. But then the image of Emily standing in the darkened kitchen would pop into her head, standing there with her eyes closed, looking so hurt and vulnerable.
     
    October arrived with a definite change in the air. Most mornings there was a light frost on car windows, and the leaves really started to change colors, especially the maples as they turned a brilliant crimson. Monday of the first week in October, Ann was sitting on the steps of Whitmore Hall, basking in the sun and trying not very successfully to read her economics text when she saw Emily walking hurriedly toward the building. Glancing at her watch, Ann realized that Emily was late for her French class. As she ran up the steps two at a time, not seeing Ann sitting there, Ann couldn't help noticing how gaunt her face was. She looked as if she hadn't slept in days.
     
    Ann decided she had to say something. On Tuesday, during Emily's office hours, she went to the office. As she entered, Ann surveyed the room and saw that the other instructors were gone.
     
    "May I speak with you?" she asked.
     
    Emily looked up. "Have a seat," she said, pointing to a chair beside her desk.
     
    Ann took a deep breath, and decided to take the leap. "Emily, I'm worried about you," she began. Emily looked at her, and Ann felt