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boys, and so on. And I knew Mother and Daddy didn’t see me that way. But I always felt as if you knew better, you were the only one who knew how bad I really was.”
    This was fascinating to Theresa, that Katherine should have the same view of Katherine that she herself had of Katherine. It made her sister a little more interesting than she’d ever seemed before. She smiled at Katherine with something resembling friendliness.
    “I wanted you to like me,” Katherine said. “I know that sounds silly, considering you were so much younger than me, but I always had a thing . . . from the time you were little and you came home from the hospital.”
    Theresa was startled. They had never talked of that time.
    “I wasn’t allowed in the hospital,” Katherine said, “because I was only ten. I was very scared, even though they promised me you’d be okay if we all prayed. I went to church every day to pray for you. Before—you know, I didn’t think about you that muchbefore. I mean, you were so much younger, it was almost like two separate families. I was more like a mother to you than a sister.”
    Theresa had heard that said of Katherine before and she’d always resented it, though she was never sure why.
    “I was terrified when you got sick. I knew people could die from polio. I remember when I prayed I kept telling God to save you because I didn’t even know you yet. I didn’t sleep before they brought you home. I mean at all. I was very happy but I was scared to death—I think maybe that you’d look different. Be a different person. Maybe that sounds silly, too, but the fact is . . . you were. You really were.”
    Theresa saw the tears return to her sister’s eyes before she felt them in her own.
    “Not just that you were thinner . . . you were so skinny . . . poor baby . . . it was more than that. Your face. You looked a hundred years old. So old and wise. I remember thinking, Holy Mother, I only asked you to keep her alive, not to make her old!” Katherine burst into tears for the second time that night. Theresa wanted to tell her to stop but she was too choked up, and besides, she wasn’t sure which she wanted Katherine to stop—talking or crying. “I’ll never forget it,” Katherine said, sobbing. “You looked as though you’d died and come back, Tessie, that’s the truth!”
    And finally Theresa could hold it in no longer. She sat, her back against the headboard, not moving, crying silently. Katherine leaned over, resting her head in Theresa’s lap, sobbing loudly.
    “From then on I always had the feeling,” Katherine said after a long time, her voice muffled, “that whatever I said, you knew the real truth. But I wasn’t scared. I knew you wouldn’t tell. I always felt there was this good thing between us, even if we hardly ever talked to each other.”
    Theresa stroked Katherine’s hair. She was feeling a mixture of emotions so strong that she was trembling—a nearly overwhelming love for her sister, a desire to hold her, soothe her, at the sametime as she felt guilty over her dislike and mistrust of Katherine. But then beyond those feelings was the fact that she hadn’t really lost that mistrust. Of her sister. Of this situation. What was Katherine trying to do to her, anyway? It was like someone you knew was an escaped murderer or something showed up at your door and got you to feel all sympathetic and concerned for them to escape. Except Katherine hadn’t really done anything like that. Or had she? She kept reminding herself she didn’t trust her sister while remembering the feeling of the sobs that had racked Katherine’s body.
    “Stop,” she said.
    Katherine looked up. “What?”
    “Nothing,” Theresa said. “I don’t know. I have a headache.”
    “Do you want some aspirin?” Katherine’s mascara had streaked all over her face.
    “No.”
    “I want a cigarette. Do you ever smoke, Theresa?”
    “Once in a while.” Now why did she have to tell a lie like