LONTAR issue #1 Read Online Free PDF Page A

she ran from home, an inventor who was trying to get an administration contract to sell his patented bottle caps ("They won't even look at you if you're not married, though," he said, shaking his head), and a woman in construction who gave violin lessons on the side.
    "How come you're not higher station then?" said Feisal.
    "I only got up to Grade Two," said the woman, a gentle note of apology in her voice. "I can play when it's just playing, but when it's exams, forget about it. I only teach small children. I'm not, to say, very good."
    "Then why do you keep on doing it?" said Feisal without thinking.
    "Because I enjoy it," said the woman.
    Maybe Muna was right, Feisal thought. He had never met so many people who cared about something other than excelling. The former secretary cared about spades and flowers. The inventor did not care about bottle caps, but he clearly enjoyed the idea of himself as an inventor, and it didn't seem to bother him much that he was not a particularly successful one. It was relaxing to speak to such people.
    But he'd noticed Xinya because she cared about something other than excelling. He remembered that intensely amused wobble in her voice, and no longer felt like drinking his mocktail and making small talk. He went out onto the deck and watched the stars until it was time to return to land.
    *
    Something unprecedented happened to Feisal, in a time of unprecedented things. He began to think.
    It seemed to him that while the affability events were an eminently sensible thing, and it was right and appropriate that people of a similar station should be joined together, the system did not take sufficient account of the waywardness of the human heart.
    "But that's what the system's for," Muna said when he put the thought to her. "People are very stupid when they fall in love. They don't make the right choice for the future. They don't consider the correct things—the education, the mentality must be the same. They only think of all the wrong things."
    "But if their preference is not related to—" Feisal went pink. He wasn't used to discussing such things with his family. "If it's not partiality, shouldn't that be allowed?"
    "Don't kid yourself. Humans are always partial," said Muna. "That's why we had the Crisis, what. Enthusiasm, communalism, all this. At least now we all know we're doing good for the society. Society benefits if the best join together and have children who can lead, and everybody else focuses on their own role. 'Acknowledge difference to avoid conflict.' They taught us at school also, what."
    "I didn't listen," said Feisal. "I was too busy drawing pictures. Anyway, we don't acknowledge difference. When was the last time you heard someone admit to being Izzahite or something like that?"
    "So what, you think it's better if we go back to the old days?" said Muna. "Everything also based on you know what. Even somebody kena accident also must ask: eh, orang Melayu ke Cina ke? "
    She was very angry: she would never have used the taboo language of communalism otherwise. "At least now we know what is the important differences." Feisal said no more to Muna, but it seemed to him there was something missing in the stories he'd been told about the world.
    "I know we need the elect," he said to Xinya at work. "We need leaders to run the country and teach schools and develop technology all that. But would it be so bad if some people want to be less than all they can be? Do we always have to maximise?"
    Even as he said it, he knew it sounded stupid. "Never mind—" he said, but:
    "I know what you mean," said Xinya. "But bangsawan don't think that way."
    "But you're a bangsawan ."
    "A second class Bachelor's in plant biology from UKTM hardly makes me one of the elect," Xinya said, smiling.
    Feisal had come to realise that Xinya's smile was as much a deflection tactic as it was an expression of friendliness or an indication of her mood. Xinya never smiled with only one meaning.
    She said, "But it's