Lion's First Roar Read Online Free PDF Page B

onto the hospital bed and gently adjusted the hat keeping their baby’s head warm. Curled up against Vivian’s breast, Lev seemed content with his cushiony sleeping place. “He’s very quiet.”
    “He’s sleepy like his mommy,” Vivian whispered, her eyelids drooping badly.
    “Let me take him.” Nikolai waited to see if she would object to having the baby taken from her. Her mothering instincts to fiercely protect her child had been activated by his birth, and she seemed a bit possessive about holding him. It was a natural reaction, he supposed, especially after the primal experience she had just endured.
    “I’d love that.” She willingly relinquished their son into his arms. He carefully supported Lev’s head and cradled him close to his chest while Vivian rearranged the blanket he had been swaddled in and tucked the loose end a bit tighter. She dropped back against her pillow and smiled up at him. Her eyes glimmered with love and warmth. “You look wonderful like that.”
    Nikolai swallowed hard. His throat tightened as he gazed down at his son. The dark ink curling around his arms seemed so harsh and cruel compared to the cherubic innocence of Lev’s sweet little face. Feeling vulnerable but brave, he admitted, “It feels good to finally hold him.”
    Vivian touched his arm. “I love you. So much. I couldn’t have done this without you.”
    “Yes, you could have. Because you are the strongest person I know, Vee.” Holding Lev close, he bent down and captured her mouth in a kiss that he never wanted to end. “I love you doesn’t even come close to what I feel right now.”
    “It’s enough,” she assured him. “It’s more than enough.”
    Nikolai waited until Vivian had finally succumbed to exhaustion before carefully standing. He sat in the rocking chair near the bed and began to rock slowly. While Vivian had been pregnant, he had never been able to clearly picture a moment like this. A father and his baby in a rocking chair? It wasn’t exactly his thing .
    Yet here he was, rocking and cuddling the tiniest, most wonderful thing he had ever seen. Lost in the possibilities of his son’s future, Nikolai marveled at the baby he held. His nose, his ears, his eyes and mouth—there was so much that was familiar about Lev.
    In the quiet, dim hospital room, Nikolai was consumed by thoughts of his own mother and father. What had it been like for his mother to go through a pregnancy and childbirth alone as a young and vulnerable teenager? Had Maksim come to the hospital? Had Maksim held him as a baby? What had his mother dreamed of for him? Had she known that he would someday become a powerful, feared mob boss? Or had she dreamed that he would be a doctor or lawyer?
    Lev started to fuss, and Vivian was instantly awake. Nikolai wasn’t sure what he had done, but it became clear that Lev simply wanted to nurse again. He handed the baby back to Vivian and sat at the foot of the bed while she sleepily put their son to her breast and tried to get him to latch correctly. When it didn’t work, he hesitantly reached out to help her. She cast a thankful but embarrassed smile at him as they figured out how to make breastfeeding happen together.
    A nurse peeked inside the room and softly asked for permission to come inside to check on Vivian. He tried not to hover as the nurse made sure his wife’s blood pressure had normalized, and she didn’t have a temperature. When all was well, the nurse quietly retreated.
    He waited for Lev to fall asleep again before taking him from Vivian who nodded off within seconds of handing off their son. Feeling energized and protective, he returned to the rocking chair and cradled the baby. His mind was racing with thoughts of all the new and wonderful experiences that awaited him, but also with the deep-seated worries that he would fail this sweet little boy who depended on him.
    When the first pink and orange rays of sunshine streaked across the sky, Nikolai rose from the chair