brand-spanking-new places. Everything’s too perfect.” He put the pasta in his mouth and chewed while he looked up at the sparkling chandelier hanging from the cavernous ceiling of Geri’s dining room. “There’s no soul in new houses,” he said when he finished chewing.
“Thanks, Dad,” Geri said. Seth checked his watch.
I cleared my throat. “You know, Mom,” I said. “I was thinking maybe you should wait. Dad’s not ready, and, well . . .” I tried to look pitiful, which wasn’t really that hard, “. . . I don’t have anyplace to go yet.”
My mother leaned forward over her plate. “Honey, we’ve been enabling you long enough. It’s not good for you.” My mother was wearing long chunky beads over her T-shirt, and they had just landed on top of her pasta. I certainly wasn’t going to be the one to tell her. “I guarantee it, moving out again will be the best thing that ever happened to you. You’ll have sixty days once we sell before we pass papers. And the house may not go right away. It’s a tough market out there. We’re post-bubble now.”
“It wasn’t actually a bubble,” Seth said. “It was essentially a balloon.”
“Why don’t you and Noah just get married?” Becca asked.
“Shhh,” Rachel hissed. “Loser,” she said in a whispery voice no one at the table could possibly have missed. “How about because he has to ask first?”
I decided not to try to figure out which one of us Rachel was calling a loser. “It’s not that easy to find a pet-friendly rental, Mom. If you don’t care about me, what about Boyfriend?”
“Boyfriend and you can move in here with us,” Becca said. “My hamster won’t mind.”
“Yeah,” Riley said. “You can have my top bunk. I never use it.”
Geri put her fork down. “This is the last time I’m going to say it,” she said. “Find another name for that cat.”
“What about Neko?” Becca said. “That’s cat in Japanese.”
“Champ has a nice ring to it,” my father said.
There truly was no such thing as a free meal. “Listen,” I said. “For the last time, his name was Boyfriend when I got him from the shelter. How would you like it if someone adopted you and changed
your
name?”
Geri shook her head while checking to see that she had her children’s undivided attention. “It’s completely inappropriate for a grown woman to call her cat ‘Boyfriend.’ ”
“Fine,” I said. “Call him whatever you want. It’s perfectly okay with me, Grace.” The kids giggled appreciatively while I pushed back my chair and picked up my plate. “Let me know as soon as you find out when Riley starts, okay?”
“It’s so not fair that Riley gets to miss school if we can’t,” Rachel said. “Don’t you think so, Dad? I mean, it’s not like he’s exactly a genius or anything.”
“Totally,” Becca said.
“Ha-ha,” Riley said.
“Girls,” Geri said.
“By the way,” my mother said. “Come by this weekend. Your father and I could use a little help. The house goes on the market a week from Friday.”
4
THE SOUND OF A SHOVEL HITTING PACKED CLAY SOIL woke me up the next morning. I knew St. Joseph was involved without even looking, but I crawled out of bed and stuck my head out the window anyway.
“Morning, Mom,” I yelled. “Did you bring me any coffee?”
My mother kept digging. “Sure, I’d love some help. Grab a shovel.”
I could see where my sister had inherited the more irritating parts of her personality. I pulled on some jeans and an old T-shirt, and headed down the stairs.
“Shoes,” my mother said without even looking at my feet.
My mother had always said she had eyes in the back of her head, and here was still more evidence. I stomped back upstairs and slipped my bare feet into some sneakers without untying them, then clomped back down again. My mother handed me the second shovel she’d conveniently brought along. A greenish yellow plastic statue of a guy in a