didn’t get out of bed, I knew we were in for a sparring match. Only it’s always in the cards for me to be the underdog.
I drove Brail ee to school and hurried home to begin cleaning house. Braden was sleeping soundly when I left, and since Josh was home, I thought nothing of waking him up. I just let him sleep. When I walked into the house, Braden was on the couch crying. He had thrown up all over his bed again. I took him to the bathroom and ran him a luke warm bath to chill his fever and wash away the vomit. After he was settled in the tub, I went into his bedroom to strip the bed linens and scrub the mattress. Except Josh had already beat me to it.
“I’m sorry he woke you. He was sleeping so well finally, I didn’t see any need in waking him up just to ride with me to take Brailee to school.” I whisper behind him as he scrubs aggressively against the mattress. “Here, let me finish this u p; go on back to bed and rest.” I tell him, laying my hand upon his shoulder. He flinches, jerking away from my touch. As he continues to scrub, I decide if he doesn’t want to stop cleaning the bed, fine. I’ll just join him. I go to the hall closet to get the mini shampooer.
As I kneel down to begin scrubbing away the puke ridden stain, he back hands me with the scrub brush gripped tight in his fist. My head whips into the bed post, leaving me dazed and seeing stars. I fall back against the floor, but react quickly jumping up to my feet. If I give him one inch of weakness, he’ll take a mile of me. I hide the tears, forcing them to stay deep behind my eyes. He hates to see weakness. And when he sees weakness he only feeds off of it.
I step back into the corner and take a deep breath, trying my hardest not to make eye contact with him. Just ignore the elephant in the room and it will disappear shortly, right? He looks up at me shaking his head, then continues to scrub the mattress. He knows that I won’t leave him to his task, only because I know that will anger him more. Kneeling beside the bed again, I grab the hose of the shampooer and continue to scrub. Josh’s right hand slams into my face again, with the brush wound tightly in his fist. He reaches over and rips the shampooer cord from the wall, then continues to scrub with the brush.
“Fine. Have it your way. I’ll go check on Braden.” I say , gently shielding my face with my hand as I step out of the room. The phone rings several times, but I ignore the caller to tend to Braden. I bathe him quickly then dress him in some pajamas, and send him downstairs to the family room to rest on the couch. At least down there, he won’t hear the sounds of his daddy’s hands battering my face. I can only use the same excuse with the kids for so long before they start to get curious. For now, they just think that Momma is very clumsy.
I toss the soiled bed linens into the washer, and ma ke my way back to Braden’s room. The phone rings again, and I race into the office to grab the cordless. I answer the phone in a hushed tone. It’s Carly. She’s rushing her words; excited, scared, nervous. I’m not sure but I can’t concentrate on her problems when I have plenty of my own. Before I can tell her goodbye, the phone gets ripped from my hand and slung down to the floor. Josh encases my throat with his steel, corded hand, bracing me up against the wall, shattering family photos to the floor. “You stupid, pathetic bitch. You utterly disgust me,” he sneers, crashing his fist into the left side of my head. A black void clouds my vision, and silence falls upon me.
An hour later I wake up in my bed. Raising up the room spins around me, causing stars to filter my vision. The music playing sends booming echoes through my ears, stirring a nasty migraine. I brace my hands on both sides of my head and wince from the sudden movement of my arms. My back is tight and sore, and with each breath I take my lungs scream in protest.
“When will you ever learn?” I hear Josh
Carol Wallace, Bill Wallance
Vic Ghidalia and Roger Elwood (editors)