Lie Still Read Online Free PDF

the dog shit and the weed whacker.”
    Right answer. Everybody laughed. Lots of wine, lots of man bashing, lots of exclamations involving Jesus, and lots of me keeping my mouth shut whenever possible.
    Misty and I finally landed at the same table on the two-hour mark. She’d abandoned her ruby heels somewhere in favor of bare feet. A French pedicure. Long pretty toes, which she tucked easily up under her on the chair. Dark, purposely mussed and moussed hair framed an expertly made-up face. Not beautiful but highly cute. The kind of girl that boys like to throw in the pool. I guessed her to be in her late twenties or early thirties. Her only other jewelry besides the dollar-sign necklace was a wide platinum wedding band. Her fingernails were bare and chewed to the quick.
    “Hi, newbie,” she said.
    “Hi back,” I replied.
    Gert was hobbling her way over to round out the foursome at our table, tipping most of her glass onto the carpet on the way. Her gray hair peeked out under the Bunko crown, a Dallas Cowboys cap covered with rhinestones and assorted political and memorabilia pins, including one that read I MISS W . I had beentrying very hard all night not to roll a Bunko and receive the honor of wearing it. Gert stopped abruptly in the middle of the room, as if she’d suddenly lost her place in time. I left Misty to grab Gert’s arm and guide her to the empty chair next to mine.
    “Ruby!” she crowed enthusiastically, patting my hand. “There you are!”
    “Alzheimer’s,” murmured Tiffany Green, who’d just rotated to the table. “My husband is her pharmacist.”
    Tiffany shot Misty and me a cold stare and stopped her first roll in mid-air. “Have you two filled out your applications yet?” she demanded.
    “What application?” I asked. Letty had mentioned an application, too. “I don’t understand the application thing.”
    “I never got in,” Gert confessed forlornly. “I’ll be with my dear Frank and Jesus before I get in. Will one of you nice girls scatter my ashes at Lake Texoma?”
    “Your husband’s name was Jasper, honey,” Tiffany said.
    “I sure as hell know what my husband’s name was.” I had the feeling she certainly did. Gert held the piece of paper in her hand closer to the thick lenses of her glasses. “I also know that the phrase
rule of thumb
comes from an old English law that said a man couldn’t beat his wife with anything bigger around than his thumb. Give me three points for getting that. Who makes up these questions?”
    “Look, I’m just wanting to know who my competition is,” Tiffany persisted. “There’s one spot open for fall. I’ve been waiting since last year, so I’m hoping y’all can see that it’s only right that it would go to me.”
    “Will someone play a ghost hand for me?” I asked. “I need to find a bathroom.”
    “Down the hall, three doors on the left,” Tiffany instructed briskly. “Or two doors. Or maybe it’s to the right. Whatever. You’ll find one. There’s at least ten potty rooms in this place.”
    She threw the dice harder than necessary, one of them bouncinginto Misty’s lap. “Y’all be thinking about what I said,” she muttered.
    I shut the heavy game room door behind me and sagged against the flocked wallpaper of the hallway, the chatter from the room instantly muted. Mike owed me big for this night. A series of closed doors trailed away on both sides of me. Low-lit sconces. Ivy creeping up the walls. The whole effect reminded me of an old luxury hotel.
    Pick a door, any door
. Your grandmother and hot tea behind Door One. An illicit lover behind Door Two. A maniacal Jack Nicholson with a bloody knife behind Door Three. All better options than returning to Tiffany’s inquisition.
    A dark maple staircase swirled up from the ground floor, breaking briefly for the second landing, and then disappearing above my head.
How many floors
, I wondered,
for one rich lady?
    The baby gave my bladder a swift kick. I counted three