Lettuces and Cream Read Online Free PDF Page A

compulsory mud-smeared Wellingtons. Jan guessed they were all in their fifties, their ruddy country complexions make-up free and for some reason they reminded Jan of The Three Bears. One was tall, the other less so, the third less again. Two struggled to smile and had the obvious facial signs of people used to looking on the black side of life. But middle-sized bear was the smiley one and was the first to speak.
    ‘We have just come from Chapel and thought we would walk up over the fields and come and say hello to you. You must be Janice, yes?’
    ‘Yes?’ the other two repeated in unison.
    ‘Yes, but everyone calls me Jan.’ God, they even know my name Jan thought.
    Names and places of abode were given and it turned out that the Smiley one, who appeared to be the leader of the trio, lived the nearest to Jan and said she would be a regular caller. Jan didn’t know whether to be pleased or not at the prospect. The other two Bears seemed to have been shanghaied into the visit simply as a support unit for Smiley. Jan was bemused, and a little embarrassed by their appearance on her doorstep, and wondered how they had got past the kids in the yard. Normally, their curiosity kept their senses sharp and they were as good as watchdogs. At least she would have had some warning. She had no biscuits or other hospitality nibbles for her guests and the place was in a shameful mess, but never the less, she ushered the visitors into the kitchen where they all readily sat down around the table.
    ‘Whew, its a steep walk up from the village,’ said Big Bear, slumping down onto the chair, which groaned a little under her bulk. ‘You’ve meet my husband, Idris, haven’t you?’ Big bear continued, peering out at the world through her spectacles. ‘He helped you get the van out of the ditch.’
    ‘Well I didn’t see him myself, but yes, my husband has.’
    ‘There will be a lot of work for you to do here. It’s a bit of a mess isn’t it?’ Smiley Bear said with simple candour, looking around the kitchen. ‘That’s how they were you know, never did a thing with the house.’
    ‘Well, we hope to build a new kitchen-eventually.’
    ‘Yes, well, it all takes time,’ Smiley said, to which the other Two Bears, benevolently agreed.
    Mike’s job progressed, and as the hours past, tentacles of marker posts grew out across the site. But he was beginning to feel hungry and realised lunchtime was upon him. Still, he had done well; he was pleased with the mornings work and set off back to the house with a confident, jaunty stride.
    Back at the house the children were sitting expectantly at the old and large farmhouse table, the only piece of furniture the Davis’s had left that was of any use. The kids were messing about clanging their knives and forks, supposedly creating music-it wasn’t.
    ‘Will you two behave please, all that noise, I can’t hear myself think. Oh there you are Mike. I’ll have to get a bell or walkie talkies, or something, so I can call you.’
    ‘Good idea love. I’m bloomin’ starving. Yeah it’s really odd, being so far from the house and still being on your own land. Bloomin’ big garden eh?’ He laughed, and crossed to the kitchen sink to wash his hands. ‘How did you get on with the toilet room?” Mike asked, crossing the room to join the children at the table.
    ‘Don’t ask-peace of the countryside, that’s a joke. Yesterday there was that funny pigman, then today, these three women turned up out of the blue. One of them was Idris’s wife-you know, the one that pulled the van out. Oh yes, she said if you want any ploughing or jobs like that done he’ll do them for you. Anyway, they said they had just come from chapel, I thought for a minute they were here to persuade me to go as well, but they didn’t. Mind you, I did say I would go to the W.I sometime to see what its all about. And it’s not only the men around here that swear a lot, two of these women let a few, f-u-c-k’s, drop as