Letting You Know Read Online Free PDF Page A

funny and gifted.
    Still,
she never talked to me.
    Each
night I would go home, pacing my room, striving to understand how I
could catch her attention. I didn't know her name, I didn't know why
she wouldn't give me the time of day, but I was desperate for both.
    I
could have asked anyone for her name, it would have been easy, but in
my head I had planned out my grand expectations. I acted out the way
she would swoon over my voice. How I would introduce myself, while
she blushed the whole while.
    My
brother came into my room one night, asking me if I wanted to
practice with him.
    “ Thanks,”
I said, distracted, “but I'm fine. I've got this.”
    “ Are
you sure? I think I could really—”
    “ Nicholas,”
I snapped, “I've got it. Don't worry about me.”
    I
went back to brooding, my brother leaving without another comment.
    The
fourth day, not even a week, I was going crazy with stress. That day,
I'd decided I would take the initiative. If I couldn't get her to
come to me, I would go to her.
    As
we were setting up for the service, my knees trembled. Not from fear
of the performance, but nerves over how I would finally talk to her .
    On
heavy legs, my bones seemingly melted and untrustworthy, I made
myself walk until I was standing beside her on the stage. I knew my
place was further away, I was counting on her to notice my
displacement.
    Those
blue eyes found me as she turned, so close I could see the spattering
of freckles on her nose; light as cinnamon on cream.
    She
sees me. She finally sees me!
    “ Excuse
me,” she said, her words sending lightning straight to my core.
“You're in the wrong spot.”
    “ Am
I?” I asked, forcing words around my tongue that felt swollen,
huge. This
is it, this is it. “Oh,
sorry, it just looked much nicer over here.” I smiled; the
biggest, brightest smile I had ever cultivated in all my life.
    She
stared at me, not at all blushing or giggling like I expected. In
moments, my chest was beating, a sourness in my throat.
    Oh
god, what was I thinking? I'm so stupid!
    Before
I could open up, try to salvage my pride, her peach lips curled into
an unsure smile. “You're kind of weird, Deacon.”
    My
jaw fell open, giving me a far more idiotic expression than I would
have desired. Certainly nothing like what I'd portrayed in my
daydreams while imagining that scenario over and over. “You
know my name?”
    “ Of
course I do,” she laughed, brushing her blonde hair from her
forehead. “How could I not?”
    I
was on a cloud, sick and excited all at once. She
knows my name, I didn't... I never...
    “ Wait,”
she blurted, breaking my foggy dream into chunks. “Do you not
know my name?”
    “ Oh,
uh, well,” I scrambled to find a smooth sentence. My palms were
humid, I couldn't casually wipe them on my pants. “Honestly? I
don't have a clue, that was sort of why I came over here.” Oh
my god why did I tell her that!?
    Her
laugh surprised me; it was as beautiful as her singing, it eased the
tension in my neck. “That's amazing, why didn't you just ask
me?”
    Smiling
sideways, I ran my eyes to the far wall, away from her sparkling
vision. “I suppose I'm asking right now. What's your name?”
    “ Bethany,”
she answered, positively glowing. The blush I had envisioned in my
numerous walk-throughs of that occasion finally blossomed on her
cheeks. “I'm Bethany Sommer.”
    For
an unfortunate while after that, perhaps two months, Bethany and I
had little in the way of interaction. I'd see her at church,
sometimes at youth activities, but never anything structured.
    Still,
it was fantastic, more than I ever hoped for.
    As
the summer ended and school approached, I became infatuated with her.
I wanted to make her laugh, to see her smile; to sing with her and
never stop.
    She'd
told me the reason I'd never seen her around much, was because her
parents kept her home-schooled. But, they'd decided the music
curriculum offered by the high school was very good, and since their
hope was