Letting Go (Healing Hearts) Read Online Free PDF

floor, she curled into a ball. “Why me, God? Why do you hate me?”
    The pills. Take them. You’ll fall asleep. It’ll be so peaceful.
    She stopped wailing and scrubbed the tears from her face.
    Peace. You’re tired of looking for love. You’ll never find it. What your heart longs for doesn’t exist. Go ahead. Just do it.
    Without considering the consequences, she rose and went into the bathroom. Before opening the medicine cabinet, she leaned against the wall and peered at her reflection. Eyes red-rimmed and swollen stared back, bereft of hope. Who was the strange woman in the mirror? She didn’t care anymore.
    With trembling hands, Diane grabbed a bottle of Valium. She stared at the label. The words blurred as her eyes flooded with more tears. Endless tears. She hurt so much.
    With shoulders shaking, she twisted the lid off the bottle, then filled a glass with water. She tossed the pills into her mouth, dumping many of them on the floor in the process. Tipping her head back, she washed them down, empting the glass.
    She stood for a moment, waiting. A strange feeling came over her. Her chest tightened as she realized the severity of what she’d done.
    When had her life gotten so out of control? Clutching her stomach, she leaned against the wall and slid to the floor.
    “Oh, God, help me!”

 
     
    Chapter 4
     
D ave paced across the carpet in his bare feet. His hands stuffed in his jean pockets, he stopped in front of the large, flat-screen television that hung on the wall. Ignoring his son’s caseworker, he stared at the picture, trying to calm down, but failing.
    Rolling his head to work the kinks out of his neck, he finally bent down and grabbed the remote off the coffee table and turned off the news. His life held enough drama.
    Marching back across the room, he stopped abruptly in front of Nancy, his eyes narrowed. “How did the State screw up again? Are the clerks in the attorney general’s office overloaded, or just idiots?”
    Nancy stared back at him, eyes wide.
    Rubbing his face, Dave inhaled deeply and sat on the couch. “I’m sorry. That was uncalled for. I know it’s not your fault.”
    She patted his knee. “I forgive you.”
    “It’s just that . . . I’m in shock.”
    “I’d be upset too if I were you. Stuff like this happens too often, I’m afraid. I think mistakes like this actually burn out caseworkers more than the actual job does. But that’s not all. Um . . . ” She cringed as if she knew he’d be ticked. “They’ve located Joey’s birth mother.”
    He jumped off the couch and stalked across the room, his arms flailing. “No! This can’t be happening! I won’t let it.”
    Stopping in front of her, he stuck his finger in her face and growled through clenched teeth, “If the state hadn’t missed the deadline again for publishing his mother’s name in the paper, my little boy would be free for adoption right now.”
    Nancy remained mute. She knew he was right. He could see it in her eyes.
    He scowled at her. “Why can’t anyone see that?”
    “Um, well . . . that’s technically true. But now that Joey’s birth mother has been located, Child Protective Services has to give her due process, regardless of what we may think is right.”
    “But why can’t they follow through as planned? So you found her. So what?”
    “We can’t terminate her parental rights on charges of abandonment until we publish her name in the paper and she fails to come forward to claim her son. Since it wasn’t done within the proper timeframe, it matters a lot. And unfortunately, this time we found her.”
    His throat constricted, and he groaned. “But it’s not Joey’s fault. Why punish him for someone else’s mistake?”
    She motioned at him to sit. He obeyed.
    “I’m sorry I yelled in your face again. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. You’re not the one I’m mad at. It’s the system. The system failed my son!”
    “I know.” She hesitated. “There’s more.”
    He