Letters from Yelena Read Online Free PDF Page B

you, but I could feel myself grow into the role of a seductress. And far from that role feeling fake, I felt it actually portrayed the real me. Emerging
from the charred, frozen ashes of my childhood.
    ‘I live two blocks down,’ I finally said. ‘But I think you’ve taken me far enough. I’m worried that you’ll get lost on your way home.’
    I wasn’t.
    ‘I’ll try to flag down a cab,’ you said.
    We paused.
    ‘I could get one now, and take you to your door?’
    ‘There’s no need,’ I answered. ‘It’s fine, it’s only a minute’s walk from here.’ I lingered, and smiled at the ground.
    ‘I can’t believe I took you to a stranger’s courtyard. Why on earth did I do that?’
    ‘I liked it.’
    ‘We should have gone for a drink.’
    ‘We can,’ I said. ‘Another time perhaps.’
    ‘Are you free this week?’
    ‘I should be,’ I said, a little too quickly. ‘Yes I am, this Wednesday night.’
    It would be the first night of the week we would not be performing.
    ‘Let’s go out for something to eat then,’ you said. ‘It’d be good to see you again.’
    I opened the clasp of my handbag, praying that I had not forgotten my phone. It was there. I handed it to you, feeling myself tense as you fiddled with the buttons and rang yourself. I waited
for a moment, keen to move home before you guessed where I lived. Wasn’t I insecure? After all that had happened. You waited, for an eternity, and I worried that the spell would break.
‘Thanks,’ you finally said, handing it back. ‘Are you sure that I can’t take you to your door?’
    ‘Quite sure,’ I said, and turned into the night. I stopped, darted back, and kissed you on the cheek.
    ‘Goodnight Yelena.’
    ‘Goodnight Noah,’ I answered.
    I don’t remember the walk home, but I do recall the moment I opened my front door. Because at that moment a heavy shroud overwhelmed me, my shoulders shrunk, and I felt suddenly crushed.
It was a feeling that in time I would come to dread, and it made it almost impossible to climb up the two flights of stairs. The vivid colour of our encounter had only made your departure a more
black experience. As I walked it hit me how important the night had been, and it exhausted me to know that, as a consequence, much would soon be required of me. But I didn’t feel adequate
enough to live up to the sense of expectation. I suddenly felt so tired that I could barely open the door and clamber between the sheets, still fully clothed. As I closed my eyes I prayed that the
feeling would pass, once sleep had taken me in its arms. Because I knew that if the pressure of expectation made me retreat, then I would never forgive myself. But at that moment I did not have the
strength to even fear that was the last we could see of each other. I just had to hope that when I awoke in the morning I would have enough energy to dance again.
    With love from,
    Yelena

Dear Noah,
    I remember the days that followed that evening so vividly. With the opening night in two days’ time, I had to keep the thought of us stashed away in a treasure chest as
the greatest test  of  my  career  lay  ahead.  Fortunately  the  darkness  of that night had dissipated with the morning light, and I felt almost
energetic when I awoke. It would be the first time I had danced as a Principal ballerina, and even if I would not be performing in the title role of Giselle until the following Monday, every minute
was now part of the psychological preparation I needed to undertake. As you know, Giselle is the most coveted role in ballet. I would be playing an innocent young country girl, naïve to the
dangers of falling in love, and also her ghost, resisting the lure of evil spirits and trying to save her lover’s life. I had never acted, so I was sure Michael had cast me as Giselle because
he saw parts of my character in her. This aspect of the upcoming challenge was to make the next few days even more demanding – I was yet to know