Letters at Christmas Read Online Free PDF Page A

her. At the moment of crisis, he pulled out, and warmth coated her belly, spilling down her side.
    He slumped over her. Her favorite part, when they had used up every ounce of energy and found something lovely in the space left behind. She felt trust as he lay helpless, felt love as she stroked his back. And deeper, more carnally, the erratic pulse of sated, sensitive flesh within her—an ancient tattoo of spent passion and tender aftermath.
    His head rested beside hers, face pressed against her hair and the pillow. “Devil take it,” he said. “I hadn’t meant to do that.”
    “You asked me to marry you,” she reminded him. “I assumed relations were included.”
    “I hadn’t meant to do that yet . Until you agreed.” He pulled back and rolled off her.
    Suddenly cold, she reached for him. His hand met hers mid-air and squeezed with reassurance. Whatever else he meant or didn’t mean, she knew for sure that his proposal hadn’t been a lark.
    He’d arrived with the intention of asking her, and meant to follow through if she said yes. The words were on the tip of her tongue. A single word, really. What she wanted most in the world…
    He kissed her knuckles. “Not tonight, love. You don’t have to answer yet. Be sure when you tell me yes.”
    “Arrogant,” she accused.
    “You may be angry, but you accepted me back with your heart and body. Don’t try to deny it.”
    She didn’t.
    “You clearly adore me,” he continued with a note of teasing. “There’s no way you’d tell me to go away and never come back. So you’ll have no choice but to marry me.”
    She hated when he was right. “Get out before I call my brother. He wouldn’t be happy to find you in my room.”
    “Maybe not, but you’d definitely have to marry me then.”
    Still hated it. “Out. Now.”
    And then, the worst, he did leave. He said goodnight and sweetheart and then he was gone.
    The quietness of the room felt oppressive, as if the absence of sound had become a tactile thing, closing in on her. She had given him her innocence at sixteen, but never once had they slept side by side. They would if she said yes. He would leave at some point. Lose interest, the way he had done before. The near-proximity version of not writing. But before then, he would hold her all through the night. There would be some compensation of marriage, then.

Chapter Three
    I see you everywhere; your midnight hair blanketing the sky. The earthy color of your eyes on a distant shore. Each reminder cuts at my heart, the whole leaving me abraded and raw.
    My greatest fear is that the reminders will one day quiet, and I would be feeling nothing at all.
    Sidony woke up to the jangle of bells from outside. Throwing off the cover, she rushed to the window. Two sleighs waited in the snow while the grooms led high-stepping horses into their places. She shouted and clapped, feeling like a child.
    Sleigh rides had been her favorite Yuletide tradition. They had stopped doing that before Hale even left, but she was thrilled to start again. She knew who had come up with the idea, and it wasn’t her brother. It was Hale, she registered dazedly.
    A Christmas present to her.
    She was halfway out the door when she realized she was still wearing her nightgown. She rang for help and reached for her shift—then stopped. Normally she’d have been half dressed by the time her maid arrived to tie the back ribbons and pin up her hair. In the country, she shed the pomp and formality of town life, but maybe that was a problem.
    The changes in Hale’s physical appearance were obvious, from the roughened skin to the lean body to the expensive cut of his clothes. But she would look just the same as he had left her, without any of the polish or adornment acquired in her seasons. No wonder he’d assumed she would simply fall at his feet, cheerfully in love and willing to marry immediately. Exactly as she had been at seventeen years old.
    She had Anna dress her in her rose-colored