Leon and the Spitting Image Read Online Free PDF Page B

heavenly virtues.”
    “But that’s not in the reader,” whined Antoinette.
    “True, which is why I’m passing around this medieval sampler.”
    Leon’s calm disappeared the instant the cloth arrived at his desk. It looked like this:
    Heavenly Stitches of Virtue

    Ambushed!
What kind of teacher thinks of sewing as
heavenly?
Leon wondered. He felt the deadly sin of anger surge through him as the implications of the sampler sank in.
    “Can anyone tell me what a stitch is?” Miss Hagmeyer asked the class.
    Thomas, still feeling bold, whispered to Leon, “A sharp pain in the—”
    “Mr. Warchowski! This is your
second
warning. One more and you’ll find yourself sitting in Principal Birdwhistle’s office.”
    Thomas bowed his head. A trip to the Birdcage was not to be taken lightly.
    Miss Hagmeyer scanned the desks for further signs of rebellion. Finding none, she answered her own question. “A stitch is a bond. A connection. An action that unites. In the Middle Ages, there were many kinds of stitches, but the seven listed on the sampler are the ones that you must learn.”
    She picked up a giant wooden spool she had retrieved from the cabinet. “For demonstration purposes I will be using my instructional needle, this yarn, and a specialized pair of yarn snips. All of you, of course, will be given regular needles and thread.”
    Leon stared at the spool. It was wrapped with thick orange yarn the color of Henry Lumpkin’s hair.
    “Now, please pay attention,” said Miss Hagmeyer. “We will begin with the basics. Step one. Measure anarm’s length of thread. Step two. Cut thread. Please take note of the verb
—cut
. I don’t want to see any thread biting, which is a disgusting habit and entirely unacceptable.”
    So far, so good, Leon said to himself. He felt confident he could measure and cut.
    “Step three,” said Miss Hagmeyer. “With a firm, decisive poke, guide the thread through the eye of the needle.”
    That’s when Leon started to get antsy.
    “Notice how I pull
down
on my yarn once it is threaded. Doing so avoids slipping. Step four. Knot longer end of thread. For those of you who are a little clum—”
    Miss Hagmeyer stopped midsentence.
    “For those of you whose fine motor skills need some work, tie the two ends of the thread together.”
    Leon seethed. He knew what she had almost said. Why didn’t she just stick a big fat KLUTZO sticker on his forehead?
    With the threading portion of the exercise complete, Miss Hagmeyer called her students to the front of the room (individually, by last name). She presented each with a standard sewing needle, a spool of thread, and a handout that reproduced the stitches on her sampler. She also had everyone choose a piece of cloth from a colorful pile of scraps.
    By the time she said “Zeisel” only one scrapremained, and it was …
pink!
    For the rest of the period, the class threaded and stitched, consulting the sampler while Miss Hagmeyer moved between the desks like the shuttle of a loom. “Tighten up that backstitch, Miss Brede…. Mr. Lumpkin. Remove that needle from your thumb this instant! … Mr. Warchowski, watch the way you pull on the thread. You’re making the cloth pucker.”
    Leon kept his head down, hoping to avoid notice.
    “Mr. Zeisel. Haven’t you threaded your needle
yet?”
    What do
you
think? Leon snarled back, if only in his thoughts. He gave a helpless shrug.
    “Look around,” Miss Hagmeyer said. “Most of the class has finished practicing their stitches. You have not started.”
    Leon surveyed the room. Lily-Matisse rolled her eyes. P.W. made a face suggesting their teacher was demented.
    “What do you propose to do, Mr. Zeisel?”
    “I don’t know,” Leon mumbled.
    “Perhaps you might develop your skills by completing the assignment at home.”
    Leon nodded, only too happy to give needlework a rest.
    Miss Hagmeyer walked over to the supply cabinet. “A place for everything and everything in its place,” she said as she