now. That’s all that matters.”
She gave him another squeeze before pulling back and finishing up his drink. Setting the cup on the table, she took a seat. James sat down across from her, wrapping his fingers around the mug. He felt cold down to his bones and wanted to jump into a hot shower, but he felt a stronger desire to stay in the kitchen with her. For the first time in years, he finally felt as if he weren’t a stranger in his own home, and he wanted to cling to the moment.
“Taylor really turned out to be a cutie. Even with all the bruises and cuts, I could still tell,” she commented.
James shrugged. He’d been friends with Taylor for so long that he really hadn’t noticed. “Did you talk to him any?”
She smiled. “Yes, and he told me that he misses you.”
A flicker of hope went through James. “He’s not mad at me?”
“No, he told me to let you know that he forgives you and wants you to come see him.”
James shook his head. “How can he not hate me? I would if I were him.”
She reached over and put a hand on his wrist. “He knows how hard it is, and he doesn’t fault you for being afraid. I do have some advice for you, though.”
“What?”
“Don’t let it happen again. You are so smart, giving, and a good person. I’m proud of you, and I want you to feel the same way about yourself.”
He locked gazes with her. “Even if I don’t get that football scholarship?”
She gave him a gentle smile. “I couldn’t be prouder of you had you won a million scholarships. When I heard what you did at the vigil, I was amazed. It took so much courage.”
All of the sudden, James didn’t feel cold anymore as a warm sensation filled him at her words of praise.
She continued, “Today, as I was listing all my mistakes, one of them hit me the hardest. I was so busy trying to please your father that I forgot that you and your sister should be the most important things to me. I failed both of you, and I promise I’ll never do it again. I just hope you can forgive me.”
James gaped at her. “Of course I do. I love you.”
“I love you, too, baby. Nothing is ever going to change that.”
Those words finally lifted the weight off James’s chest as all the pent up worry, fear, and frustration left him. He let out a sob and then another. She got up and wrapped her arms around him, holding him as he sobbed.
He cried for himself…for Taylor who had been kicked around so much…for Christian, who had been betrayed…for Devlin, who was so jaded….for Andy, who just wanted to be loved. Most of all, James cried because he could finally be who he really was, a gay teenager.
The thought was both relieving and scary as hell. After hiding his secret for so long, he’d thrown it out there for all to see. While he didn’t regret his hasty decision, he also knew there would be no going back.
He wouldn’t have anybody at his back, either. For while Devlin might have stood up for James, and Taylor said he forgave him, that still didn’t guarantee the rest of their group felt the same way. After the way he used to ignore them all the time, James wouldn’t blame him if they turned their backs on him.
No, he wouldn’t blame them. Even if he did need them more than ever.
Chapter Four
Christian paid the cashier for his lunch, then headed for the table his friends always sat at. Tucked in the corner, it was the perfect spot since they could have privacy, yet still be able to see everybody else.
When he spotted Devlin already sitting there, Christian’s heart did a little flip. Sure, it might have been sappy, but he found that most of his feelings toward the other guy leaned that way lately. At least Christian knew the feeling was mutual, especially when Devlin smiled as he stood up.
As soon as Christian sat his tray down, Devlin put an arm around his waist and hauled Christian in for a quick kiss. A warm tingle went through Christian as he rested his hands on Devlin’s shoulders.
Even over