gloves when youâre reading those?â
Mom gave me a blank look. âHm?â
âNever mind.â
She probably thinks itâs okay to go out with Kevin because Iâm such good friends with Sasha. But I donât know Kevin that well; heâs always just been Sashaâs older brother.
I wonder if Sasha knows that Kevin phoned me?
Maybe he wonât even call me back.
July
Thursday, July 1st / Friday, July 2nd, midnight
Hundreds of us packed the causeway from Laurel Point to the Inner Harbour and waited for it to get dark. People bobbed in canoes and outboard motor boats, too. The show didnât start till after ten oâclock. Kevin and I claimed spots right by the garden that spells Welcome to Victoria in begonias and pansies. We saw the glittering explosions and their reflections on the water. Sometimes the light zoomed right at us, and the crowd gasped like one person. At the end, âO Canadaâ played, and red and white-gold sparks filled the sky.
Kevin smoked the whole time. That must be why heâs always chewing something when heâs at homeâheâs not allowed to smoke in the town house. He looked amused by the whole celebration, and people usually smiled at him as they passed. I envied his confidence. When the national anthem played, he sang at the top of his lungs. Some drunken teenagers stumbled over to join him, and everyone linked arms, including me. As I swayed back and forth, scrambling to support the wasted girl beside me, it hit me: I was downtown at night without a parent, mine or anyone elseâs. Freedom smelled of salt water and outboard motor oil.
As we walked back to the car, Kevin told me more about tree-planting, about the blackflies and the rain and working ten-hour days six days in a row, then going in to Prince George and getting drunk on his day off. He noticed me shiver as the wind picked up and put his arm around me. âFor warmth,â he said. It seemed to me that we got some funny looks; was it because heâs so much older than me?
On the way home, he took the âscenic routeâ and stopped at a pull-off overlooking the ocean. He twisted the keys in the ignition and the car rumbled to a halt. Wind rushed in the window.
âIs this your first date, Natalie?â
I didnât want to answer him. The amused expression that seemed to make everyone else warm up to him didnât feel so good when he trained it on me. He was laughing at me with his eyes.
âHey, itâs okay. Only, maybe you donât know what to expect.â
I felt trapped in the car. âI donât know what you mean, but I want to go home.â
âAlready?â He reached out and smoothed back my hair. I could smell the nicotine on his fingers. The calluses on his palm scraped my cheek, but he touched me gently. It felt okay. âI was so surprised when I saw you downstairs the other night.â
âI know, Iâm sorry. Itâs justââ
He shook his head. âNo worries. But you want to know what I was thinking?â
His fingers brushed a sensitive spot on the back of my neck. I shuddered.
âI give up.â
âWhat a babe.â
In the center of my chest, something strawberry-sized melted into liquid warmth.
âAfter, I kept picturing you standing there, and thatâs when I knew I had to call.â
He put his arm around my shoulders, pulled me towards him, and squeezed. His hands rubbed my back and razor stubble scratched my face. His mouth slid onto mine. I pressed my lips together but he tongued them open, his jaws wide. Yuck, smokerâs breath. He was suddenly breathing hard, like heâd just surfaced from underwater, desperate for air. It scared me. I jerked my head and twisted in his arms. âLet me go!â
âWhatâs the matter?â
I was huddling against the door on my side of the car. He seemed annoyed, but not for long.
âNever done that before,