Laura Lippman Read Online Free PDF Page A

face so full of joy that it was contagious. It made Tess smile just to see her.
    “At least my Lexus is the right color,” Jackie muttered, but her features softened when Laylah patted her cheeks with baby hands, as if imitating her mother’s futile motions with the washcloth.
    “Who wants whipped cream on their pie?” Kitty asked. At last, something everyone could agree on.
    “So what do you think?” Kitty asked Jackie as soon as Tess’s mouth was full. “Is Tess really interested in Crow, and pretending not to be? Or do you think she’s in love with him, and being stubborn out of some misplaced pride?”
    “I don’t know if she was ever in love with him. I wasn’t around then. But she’s definitely not finished with him, you know what I mean? Sometimes a man is like, well, like this piece of pie when you’re supposed to be on a diet. You stick your fork in it, you break it up, you move it around on your plate, you put all this work into not eating it. You’re still obsessed with it.”
    “Really?” Kitty was so taken by this analogy that she stopped in midbite. “I’ve never felt that way about a man. Or a pie, for that matter.”
    “Well, Aunt Kitty, you’ve never left so much as a crumb behind.” Tess had tired of being discussed in the third person. “Although it’s been what—almost an entire month since you’ve ‘dated’ anyone?”
    Kitty shrugged. “Just not interested, I guess. As long as we’re using food analogies, you could say I’ve got a bad case of Jordan almonds.”
    “Huh?”
    “I used to love Jordan almonds,” she said matter-of-factly, as if Tess should know this. “I ate them every day. Then one day, I never wanted another one.”
    “Are you saying you never want to be with another man, or that you’ve finally gotten tired of the himbo parade that’s been marching through your life?”
    Kitty held out her plate to Esskay and let the dog lap up the traces of whipped cream. When she spoke again, her voice was slow and careful, as if she were making a confession.
    “A new UPS man took over the route today. He came in with a shipment of books, wearing his shorts, although it’s a bit late in the season for that. He had the nicest legs. You know how I like men’s calves. Single, he made a point of letting me know, and very keen to see the Fritz Lang double bill at the Orpheum. I was two sentences away from having a date with him, if I wanted one. But I didn’t, and I don’t know why.”
    “I swore off men, even before I had Laylah to worry about,” Jackie said. “When I was trying to build my business, I felt as if I were a battery and they drained all the energy out of me. Now I’m a single mother and all the energy is drained out of me. Even with help—and all the support I’m getting from you guys—I’m exhausted most of the time. What would I do with a man, even if I could find one? And what would a man do with me? Watch me fall asleep in front of the television at nine o’clock?”
    Tess said nothing. Her recent abstinence from men—from love, from passion, from all entanglements, however wrongheaded—had felt like a twelve-step program. One day at a time, and she was always aware in her mind of just how many days that had been. She liked men. They used to like her.
    “I don’t seem to meet guys anymore,” she said. “Is that because I turned thirty?”
    “You’re healthier,” Kitty said. “Mentally, I mean. You don’t give off that damaged vibe you used to have. There’s a large class of men with a homing instinct for women who are vulnerable, and that’s why there was always someone lurking, ready to take advantage of you.”
    “You’re not damaged, and you’ve always had your pick of men,” Tess pointed out.
    “I’m at the other end of the spectrum—true indifference. They start off thinking I’m the perfect woman because I want them only for their bodies, then end up saying I’m heartless. If you only knew how many men had