Laughing Gas Read Online Free PDF Page B

herself on the back and saying: 'Aha! I thought losing me would make the poor clam think a bit!' and that offends a fellow's pride. I suppose the wheeze really is to have one of those cold, inscrutable faces you read about in books.
    She, on her side, women having the gift more than men, had already pulled herself together.
    'Well!' she said.
    A pleased smile had come into her face, and she was looking at me as if I had been just some fairly mere acquaintance who meant nothing much in the scheme of things, but whom she was quite glad to see.
    'Well, fancy meeting you here, Reggie!'
    I saw that this was the right attitude. After all, the dead past is the dead past. I mean to say, the heavy stuff was over between us. At the time when she had severed relations, the thing had, of course, stuck the gaff into me to quite a goodish extent. I won't say that I had not been able to sleep or touch food, because I've always slept like a log and taken my three square a day, and not even this tragedy could break the habit of a lifetime, but I certainly had felt a bit caught in the machinery. Sombre, if you know what I mean, and unsettled, and rather inclined to read Portuguese Love Sonnets and smoke too much. But I had got over all that ages ago, and we could now meet on a calm, friendly footing.
    So I spoke, as she had done, with an easy cordiality.
    'Me, too,' I said. 'Fancy meeting you here.'
    'How are you?'
    'Oh, I'm fine.'
    'The feet quite all right?'
    'Oh, quite.'
    'Good.'
    'You're looking well.'
    She was, too. Ann is one of those girls who always look as if they had just stepped out of a cold bath after doing their daily dozen.
    'Thanks. Yes, I'm all right. What has brought you to Hollywood, Reggie?' 'Oh, this and that.'
    There was a slightish pause. I felt a bit embarrassed again.
    'So,' I said, 'you're affianced to old Eggy?' 'Yes. I do seem to run in the family, don't I?' 'You do a bit.' 'Do you approve?' I considered this.
    'Well, if you ask me,' I said, 'I think it is a far, far better thing that Eggy is doing than he has ever done. But where do you get off? Doesn't this open up a pretty bleak future for you?'
    'Why? Don't you like Eggy?'
    'I love him like a brother. One of my oldest pals. But I should have thought that for domestic purposes someone who was occasionally sober would have suited you better.'
    'Eggy's all right.'
    'Oh, he's all right. He enjoys it.'
    'There's lots of good stuff in Eggy.'
    'Quite. And more going in every minute.'
    'His trouble is that he has always had too much money and too much spare time. What he needs is a job. I've got him one.'
    'And he's accepted office?'
    'You bet he's accepted office.'
    I was rather overcome.
    'Ann,' I said, 'you're a marvel!'
    'How so, Mister Bones?'
    'Why, making Eggy work. It's never been done before.' 'Well, it's going to be done now. He starts to work tomorrow.'
    'That's splendid. One feels a certain pang of pity for whoever it is he's starting to work for, but that's splendid. The family were worried about him.'
    'I don't wonder. I can't imagine anybody more capable of worrying a family than Eggy. Just suppose if Job had had him as well as boils!'
    The garden was beginning to fill up now, and several thirsty souls had come prowling up to the table like lions to the drinking-hole. We moved away.
    'Tell me about yourself, Ann,' I said. 'You're working hard all the time, of course?'
    'Oh, yes. Always on the job - such as it is.'
    'How do you mean, such as it is? Don't you like it?'
    'Not very much.'
    'But I should have thought it would just have suited you, being a press agent.' 'A what?'
    'Eggy told me you were April June's press agent.'
    'He was a little premature. That's what I'm hoping to be, if all goes well, but nothing's settled yet. It all depends on whether something comes off or not.'
    'What's that?'
    'Oh, just an idea I've got. If it works out as I'm hoping she says she will sign on the dotted line. I shan't know for a couple of days. In the meantime, I'm a