me.'
'Amy showed you? Seems I'm the only one here who aint in the know.' He looks out the window. We're coming up on to Blackheath, past the back end of Greenwich Park. There are daffs out on the verges. 'And Raysy here's a mine of information.'
Vince is looking in the mirror.
Vie is getting all uncomfortable and tut-tutty, like it's time to change the subject He says, 'It's like the horses. Have to prise it out of him these days.'
Vic's holding the box. I don't think he should hold the box all the time.
Lenny says, 'Even then, he gives you duff tips.'
I say, 'Last tip I gave came good.'
Vince is still looking.
Lenny says, 'Well it weren't for any of us.'
Vie says, 'Who, Raysy?' Vic'd make a good referee.
I say, 'Be telling, wouldn't it?'
I look out the window. Blackheath isn't black and it isn't a heath. It's all green grass under blue sky. If it weren't for the roads criss-crossing it, it would make a good gallop. Highwaymen here once- Coaches to Dover. Your money or your life.
Vie says, 'Well it's still a mystery. Why Margate?'
Lenny says, 'I reckon it was a try-on, just to see if we'd do it.'
Vince half turns in his seat. 'So you think he does know? You think he can see us?'
Lenny blinks and pauses a moment. He looks at me, then at Vie as if he needs some of that refereeing.
'Manner of speaking, Vincey, manner of speaking. Course he can't see us. He can't see nothing.'
Vic's hands move a little over the box.
Then Lenny chuckles. 'Mind you, Big Boy, if he can't see us, if he can't see nothing, why d'you go and borrow a Merc?'
Vince looks at the road ahead.
The sun's sparkling on the grass. Jack can't see it.
Vie says, slow and gentle, 'It's the gesture, Vince. It's a fine gesture. It's a beautiful car.'
Vince says, 'It aint a meat van.'
Vince
Jack's eyes are shut, he looks asleep, and I think, I could just slip away, I could just sneak out, but if he's not asleep he'll know I've sneaked out, he'll have tested me. So I say, 'Jack?' and he opens his eyes, quick as you like.
There's that nurse on duty, Nurse Kelly, the one I fancy, black hair. I think, Given half the chance, I could try it on. Special circs, after all. Like when the world's about to end. How about it, Nursey, you and me? I could sneak out with Nurse Kelly.
I say, 'Amy said you wanted a word. Just you and me.' He doesn't say nothing for a bit, then he says, 'I told Amy I wanted to see Ray. I told Amy to tell Ray to drop by.'
He looks at me.
I say, 'It's me, Jack. It's Vince.' Because you can't tell, what with the drugs. What with everything.
He says, 'I aint lost my marbles.' Staring at me.
I suppose he knows by now, really knows. Like it's sunk in proper and he's had time to live with it, live with if, and it's not someone's idea of a joke. Like someone tells you it's the finish, but you hadn't finished, you weren't even close to finishing.
He must know. But I don't know what it's like to know. Don't want to know either.
He says, 'I know it's you, Vince, and I know it's me. You want to swap?'
I smile, sort of stupid.
He says, 'Come here, Vince, I want to ask you something.'
It's a wild night out, wet and windy. On the window at the end of the unit you can see the drops fluttering and fanning. But I don't suppose it matters in here, what it's like out there, rain or shine, it aint a major talking-point.
I think of Nurse Kelly going off-shift, wind up her skirt.
"Come here, Vince.'
I reckon I'm close enough, but I shift up the bed a bit and I lean forward. His hand's lying there on the bedclothes, the fingers half curled, the tapes and stuff further up on his wrist where the tubes go in. I know he wants me to take his hand. It shouldn't be such a hard thing, to take his hand, but it's as though if I take it, he's got me, he won't ever let go—
He says, 'I told Amy I wanted a word with Ray, all alone.'
'That's good,' I say. 'Ray's a mate.'
'Ray's a mate,' he says.
He looks at me.
He says, 'Amy don't know what's
'Amy showed you? Seems I'm the only one here who aint in the know.' He looks out the window. We're coming up on to Blackheath, past the back end of Greenwich Park. There are daffs out on the verges. 'And Raysy here's a mine of information.'
Vince is looking in the mirror.
Vie is getting all uncomfortable and tut-tutty, like it's time to change the subject He says, 'It's like the horses. Have to prise it out of him these days.'
Vic's holding the box. I don't think he should hold the box all the time.
Lenny says, 'Even then, he gives you duff tips.'
I say, 'Last tip I gave came good.'
Vince is still looking.
Lenny says, 'Well it weren't for any of us.'
Vie says, 'Who, Raysy?' Vic'd make a good referee.
I say, 'Be telling, wouldn't it?'
I look out the window. Blackheath isn't black and it isn't a heath. It's all green grass under blue sky. If it weren't for the roads criss-crossing it, it would make a good gallop. Highwaymen here once- Coaches to Dover. Your money or your life.
Vie says, 'Well it's still a mystery. Why Margate?'
Lenny says, 'I reckon it was a try-on, just to see if we'd do it.'
Vince half turns in his seat. 'So you think he does know? You think he can see us?'
Lenny blinks and pauses a moment. He looks at me, then at Vie as if he needs some of that refereeing.
'Manner of speaking, Vincey, manner of speaking. Course he can't see us. He can't see nothing.'
Vic's hands move a little over the box.
Then Lenny chuckles. 'Mind you, Big Boy, if he can't see us, if he can't see nothing, why d'you go and borrow a Merc?'
Vince looks at the road ahead.
The sun's sparkling on the grass. Jack can't see it.
Vie says, slow and gentle, 'It's the gesture, Vince. It's a fine gesture. It's a beautiful car.'
Vince says, 'It aint a meat van.'
Vince
Jack's eyes are shut, he looks asleep, and I think, I could just slip away, I could just sneak out, but if he's not asleep he'll know I've sneaked out, he'll have tested me. So I say, 'Jack?' and he opens his eyes, quick as you like.
There's that nurse on duty, Nurse Kelly, the one I fancy, black hair. I think, Given half the chance, I could try it on. Special circs, after all. Like when the world's about to end. How about it, Nursey, you and me? I could sneak out with Nurse Kelly.
I say, 'Amy said you wanted a word. Just you and me.' He doesn't say nothing for a bit, then he says, 'I told Amy I wanted to see Ray. I told Amy to tell Ray to drop by.'
He looks at me.
I say, 'It's me, Jack. It's Vince.' Because you can't tell, what with the drugs. What with everything.
He says, 'I aint lost my marbles.' Staring at me.
I suppose he knows by now, really knows. Like it's sunk in proper and he's had time to live with it, live with if, and it's not someone's idea of a joke. Like someone tells you it's the finish, but you hadn't finished, you weren't even close to finishing.
He must know. But I don't know what it's like to know. Don't want to know either.
He says, 'I know it's you, Vince, and I know it's me. You want to swap?'
I smile, sort of stupid.
He says, 'Come here, Vince, I want to ask you something.'
It's a wild night out, wet and windy. On the window at the end of the unit you can see the drops fluttering and fanning. But I don't suppose it matters in here, what it's like out there, rain or shine, it aint a major talking-point.
I think of Nurse Kelly going off-shift, wind up her skirt.
"Come here, Vince.'
I reckon I'm close enough, but I shift up the bed a bit and I lean forward. His hand's lying there on the bedclothes, the fingers half curled, the tapes and stuff further up on his wrist where the tubes go in. I know he wants me to take his hand. It shouldn't be such a hard thing, to take his hand, but it's as though if I take it, he's got me, he won't ever let go—
He says, 'I told Amy I wanted a word with Ray, all alone.'
'That's good,' I say. 'Ray's a mate.'
'Ray's a mate,' he says.
He looks at me.
He says, 'Amy don't know what's
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