Landchester Amish Love: Sarah (Amish Romance) (Landchester Amish Love Series Book 1) Read Online Free PDF

wall around yourself. You don’t like yourself and you don’t expect others to like you. So by creating the ideal image, you make yourself feel worse rather than better, because you know you can never change your hair color to blonde. Does this make sense to you?”
    Sarah nodded. Unfortunately, it did make sense. She knew she had isolated herself. Her friends used to invite her to parties but she was too afraid of rejection to go and then they stopped asking. Sarah took that to mean they didn’t want to be with her anymore rather than they were tired of asking and the response never changing.
    “I think you’ve been afraid to open up Sarah and that has kept you isolated. You know it is our philosophy that all are created equal. That’s why we dress the way we do. No one person is better or worse than another. But we must love ourselves and Gott before we can love others. How could you be anything less than perfect when you are made in Gott’s likeness. When you love yourself, then you open yourself to love.” Ruth felt bad for her schweschder but Sarah needed to hear the truth.
    “You know Jacob Beiler? He told me I was beautiful. He said a lot of nice things to me. For once I felt comfortable in a mann ’s company. He’s different to the others. I thought I could trust him. I told him about the dolls with faces but he just got angry about how I could do that. That surprised me. He always seemed like he go against everything but really he’s a true believer. Ruth, you should have seen how upset he got when Englischers broke a table. He wasn’t upset about the money but about the work Isaac had put into creating the table. I thought he’d understand my view point. I just wanted to show what I could do but perhaps you are right. I wanted to create something I could never be.”
    “Sarah, not what you couldn’t be, just what you thought the ideal was. You are beautiful and wunderbaar . You have a such a lovely soul. You should go to Jacob and ask him how he feels about you?” Ruth was holding Sarah’s hands now.
    “I couldn’t do that, Ruth, that’s too forward. I couldn’t do it. What if he hates me for wanting to make the dolls? I can’t Ruth. It’s too much. I can’t do it.”
    “Sarah, all you have to do is ask him if he likes you. He doesn’t have to marry you tomorrow or even make a promise to you. You don’t even need to ask him to plan a date. It’s just if he likes you.”
    “ Nee, Ruth. That’s too forward for me. Danke , scheweschder . It has been so gut to talk to you. I’ve wanted to tell you about the dolls but I was afraid you might tell my secret if we got into an argument.”
    “You are welcome, Sarah. I don’t judge. I listen. You have your reasons for feeling the way you do but you know, Jacob, has given you some confidence. That’s why I think it would be a gut idea to ask if he likes you. He had made you come out of your shell. But we’ll leave it in Gott’s hands.”
    Sarah was feeling so much better. Having someone listen and then say what they thought, not forcing their opinion but recognizing Sarah’s pain had lifted something off her. She was feeling better within herself. So much of what Ruth had said was true. She had felt isolated for so long and she had created walls of protection around her but they had served to keep love away from her. Could she take a chance with Jacob? Sarah wasn’t sure she had the courage to do it.

Chapter 9
    Caleb and Anne had left when Sarah made her way downstairs. She didn’t feel like talking to them so had stayed in her room until the coast was clear. Ruth and their Maemm had made dinner. Sarah was hungry, having missed out on lunch. She had fallen asleep after her chat with Ruth. Ruth had taken over Sarah’s chores so she didn’t need to be disturbed. Their mother was still upset but Ruth asked her not to bring up the dolls to Sarah. Let it be over. Sarah had enough to deal with now.
    Sarah kept to herself for the evenings.