L. Ann Marie Read Online Free PDF

me, she was enough.  One night she went to a party and I covered for her.  My parents never checked on me so I slept in her bed that night.  When they found out it was me in the bed, they went crazy.  They never allowed her to do anything. She was just being a kid but she would always push it.  She was daring and reckless when she got out from under them.  She died driving home drunk from that party.  For two fuckin months they didn't even look at me.  I finally moved out leaving them my cell number on the fridge.  When Meely died I lost my whole family.  I had only my reflection and the box of crazy shit she used to write when I left home.  She made a bucket list, I revised it and put stuff from her list and mine together.  Every couple of months, I cross something off the list.  She had three way on her list, that night was the anniversary of her death.  I had too much to drink, trying to get enough courage to go through with it."  I see the tear fall down her cheek and wipe it off.  I feel like an ass.
    "I wish I could bring her back for you, Amanda.  Sounds like you made an amazing team."
    She looks up at me, I can see the pain clear as day in her eyes.  "Thank you.  We did.  I'm sorry I used you like that.  I knew what I was doing but I was scared, I knew you wouldn't let anything happen to me."
    Fuck, I treated her like a whore.  "Don't apologize.  It wasn't like I didn't get anything out of it.  I wish you would have told me.  We can't change the past but I'd like to start over Amanda.  I'd like the chance to get to know who you really are.  Can we start from right now?"  My heart is beating a fuckin mile a minute.  You'd think I've never had a fuckin date.  I shake my head, I never really did.
    She looks at me for a minute; I'm not sure what to do.  "Yes.  I'm not the girl that's going to jump into bed with you tonight.  What I did can't be undone but it's not my normal behavior."
    I nod.  "I get that."  She smiles; something in me wants to keep that smile on her face.  "So besides being the preferred artist for the MC, what do you do for fun?"
    She smiles, "Well, I make wind chimes, design patriotic pictures on the computer, hang with Tess and company and take long walks on the beach.  What do you do for fun, Bob?"  Her eyes are lit making her face light up and she's talking like a contestant on a game show.  Fuckin sassy and cute.
    "I ride, do tai chi, ride, hang with Rich and company and ride."
    I get her to laugh.  "Where is your favorite place to ride?"
    I shrug.  "Anywhere makes me happy but the back roads give me something.  I can clear work out of my head and look around."  I don't even know if that makes sense.
    "Stop and smell the roses?"  She asks with a smile.
    I think about that, "Yeah, something like that.  I don't normally talk about this shit so I make it sound stupid but you get it."
    "You don't sound stupid.  Do you have brothers and sisters?"  Thank fuck she changed the subject.
    I shake my head no, "The only fuck up of my family.  Only child."
    She watches me but what else is there to say?  "Being an only child makes you a fuck up?"
    I laugh, "No, my parents fucked up.  I was the result, they didn't hide that from me.  I spent a lot of time alone growing up."
    "That would explain the not talking much."  She smiles like she knows how that feels.
    I'm out of things to say.  I need a fuckin list of topics.  "Do you want to dance?"
    Her smile lights up her face again.  "Sure, thanks."
    We dance and talk until last call.  I'm fuckin shocked, we've been here for hours.  "I didn't realize the time.  Are you hungry?"  I don't want to take her home yet.  I like the way this feels.  Fuckin Rich knows his shit.
    She's been smiling the whole time, I don't know how but her smile gets bigger.  "I could use a bowl of cereal.  I may have enough to share."
    Fuck, she's cute when she's happy.  "I might be able to do cereal, tell me it's not chocolate