Killing the Emperors Read Online Free PDF

Tolstoy.’
    ‘You’re a bit more like him than Jane Austen, if I may say so,’ said Amiss. ‘At least in your appetites.’
    She ignored him. ‘So the small canvas this time is related to art. And once more I need help.’
    ‘What kind of help?’ asked Rachel.
    ‘Stop looking so apprehensive. I’m not going to kidnap Robert. Now pay attention and I’ll tell you what we have to do.’

    1 For the story set in the ffeatherstonehaugh’s gentlemen’s club, see Clubbed to Death
    2 Matricide at St. Martha’s
    3 Murdering Americans
    4 Carnage on the Committee

Chapter Two
    February 2012
    His phone rang mid-morning. Since the caller sounded like a frantic skylark, Robert Amiss realised it had to be Petunia Stamp, the college secretary of St. Martha’s. Trying without much success to make sense of the cacophony of twitters, he gathered that she was upset. He pictured the fluttering little creature—pink alice band slightly askew and chest heaving underneath some frightful knitwear appliquéd with kittens or butterflies—and wondered yet again how Baroness Troutbeck—who suffered fools appallingly—could stand her. And vice-versa.
    ‘Take it slowly, Miss Stamp. Is something the matter?’
    ‘It’s the mistress, Mr. Amiss. The mistress. Where, oh where, is the mistress?’
    Patient questioning elicited the information that the baroness had been expected back in Cambridge the previous night but had not turned up. Since she often arrived early in the morning, no one had worried until she failed to surface at the monthly council meeting. ‘A council meeting, Mr. Amiss! She missed a council meeting! You know she would never miss a council meeting. And no message. No message. And she’s not answering her phone. Something terrible must have happened to her. What will we do? Should I send for the police?’
    ‘Leave it with me for the moment, Miss Stamp. If anything’s happened to her, it would probably be here rather than in Cambridge. I’ll investigate and get back to you. And don’t worry. You know she’s the toughest of tough old birds.’
    Interpreting Miss Stamp’s silence as an indication that she didn’t know whether to be comforted by this undoubted truth or horrified by his lèse-majesté , he said goodbye in what he hoped was a manly reassuring voice and rang off.
    ***
    ‘Sorry to have got your PA to rout you out of a meeting, Mary Lou, but it’s urgent.’
    ‘I was interviewing a grumpy poet for tonight’s programme and was glad to have an excuse to get rid of the asshole. What’s up? You sound agitated.’
    ‘It’s contagious. Miss Stamp’s been on the phone in a right old state because she can’t find Jack. And I admit to being worried. She didn’t turn up for this morning’s council meeting. And they can’t get hold of her.’
    ‘Hell, I’m worried! That never happened during my time at St. Martha’s. Never ever.’
    Amiss got up and began to pace. ‘That’s what’s troubling me. Jack’s reliability and punctuality are positively aggressive.’
    ‘Are you thinking what I’m thinking?’
    ‘Car crash?’
    ‘Precisely. The way she drives it’s a miracle she’s never had one.’
    ‘But if she was in hospital she’d have had ID and St. Martha’s would know by now.’
    ‘Unless Myles was down as next-of-kin. And they wouldn’t have been able to find him. Isn’t he still in Iraq?’
    ‘Last time I heard. But she wouldn’t have named Myles. He’s away too much.’
    ‘Supposing…?’
    ‘Really bad crash and a fire?’
    ‘Yep.’
    ‘Oh, God, Mary Lou. Of course it’s possible. What’ll we do?’
    ‘I’ll get Ellis to put someone on to it. It shouldn’t take long. It would have to have been an accident on the North Circular or the M11.’
    ‘Unless she went by a scenic route?’
    ‘With a motorway available on which to do a ton?’
    ‘Sorry. Dumb idea.’
    ‘But then of course there’s the other horrible possibilities.’
    ‘Heart attack? Stroke?