Keep Me in the Dark Read Online Free PDF

just let this be? She’s found someone she likes!”
    “And he wears a mask!” Dolly and Cassie respond.
    “Well, I think it’s kind of romantic,” Anna replies, smoothing her skirt.
    All of us stare at her mutely for a full minute, including me.
    “Why are you looking at me like that!” Anna says, pointing at me. “You’re the one who likes him!”
    I sigh. “God, this is so messed up.”
    “Tell me about it,” Dolly mutters.
    “That doesn’t matter. What matters is whether or not you’re happy,” Anna says. “Are you happy Laura?”
    Am I? “I don’t know if being with him makes me happy,” I say. “That has never really been my question. Or at least it hasn’t until recently.”
    “What do you mean?” Cassie asks gently.
    I look out the window behind them. The city never sleeps. It’s never completely dark. But our view is probably about as close to complete darkness as you could get. The next building over is an unpopulated mass of brick and shadows.
    “I don’t talk about myself much,” I say. “It took me months before I even told any of you about my mom.”
    They don’t say anything. I never bring it up. They’re probably shocked and wondering what’s up and where I’m going to take this. I don’t even know myself.
    “Well, since then I haven’t really wanted to get close to someone. I don’t know if it’s because I’m afraid of losing them, if I have survivor’s guilt, or if it’s something else. I just…think about it all the time, and I don’t want to. I want to forget. I want to be swept up into something that makes me forget about everything about who I am, and he does that for me. I don’t know if you can call it happiness, and I don’t care if it’s happiness or not. It’s what I needed.”
    “Needed, not need?” Cassie whispers.
    “Shut up, Cass,” Anna whispers back.
    “I’m just making an observation—”
    “No, Cassie’s right,” I say. “The closer I get to him, the more of him I want to see. He’s become more than that to me, and I don’t know what to do, because I think the darkness is what he needs, not me. Otherwise he wouldn’t wear a mask.”
    “Why do you think the darkness is what he needs?” Anna asks softly. “He might just be doing that because he doesn’t know how to make things progress with you.”
    “Yeah, he doesn’t want you to know he thinks he’s a superhero,” Cassie grumbles.
    “Cass, shut it!” Anna hits her arm.
    “I’m just saying—”
    “Shut it!” Anna hits her again.
    I grin solemnly. “I don’t think that’s it. He said once, he didn’t want to show me because he didn’t think I would love him after I saw his face.”
    The girls go quiet.
    “He might be a burn victim. Or deformed,” Anna says softly. “Maybe he’s been shunned by everyone and is afraid to show you.”
    “He could be a criminal,” Dolly says. “Maybe he’s a wanted man.”
    “Or in the witness protection program,” Cassie says.
    “So he walks around with a mask? Like that isn’t going to attract attention,” Dolly says.
    “What’s wrong with you?” Anna turns to Dolly. “He might be hurting inside.”
    “He could also be a creep,” Dolly says. “I just don’t want her to get hurt, and the best way to keep that from happening is for her to have all the information. As it stands right now, she doesn’t even know the guy’s name. All she knows about him is that he runs around in a mask. That’s not the basis for a healthy relationship.”
    “Like you’d even know,” Anna mutters.
    Dolly shoots up. “What the hell did you just say to me?”
    “Dolly, settle down,” Cassie says, tugging on her shirt as Anna backs up.
    “No, I’m not going to settle down until you explain yourself.”
    Anna looks at the floor. “I just meant that you don’t have many long-term relationships.”
    “Look, I like to screw around, okay? And yes, to answer your next question, I have slept with men whose names I didn’t know,