Kathryn Smith Read Online Free PDF Page B

that.
    “Come,” Nathaniel’s voice cut through her thoughts. “He would not want us to ruin this evening by being maudlin. We have a party to attend.”
    How right he was. No one thought anything of Nathaniel accompanying her to so many social events. His longtime “friendship” with Tony made it understandable. It also provided an excuse for neither of them to form romantic attachments. Everyone simply assumed that one day the widowwould marry her late husband’s best friend. It was the perfect arrangement. This way no one found out the truth about Nathaniel, and no one found out that Moira, for all her years of marriage, was three-and-thirty and still a virgin.
    All those years of starving herself so she’d be thin enough to attract a husband, and the man she married hadn’t wanted her body.
    So why was she still trying so hard to be what society thought she should be when she had no intention of marrying again—not unless she met a man who made her believe in love?
    Because she was an idiot, and because she had always had difficulty doing what she wanted. Once she might have blamed her mother for that, but now that she was a grown woman, she could blame no one but herself. She was a viscountess—even if a dowager. If she couldn’t bring herself to act as she pleased now, she never would.
    “What will people say when I arrive looking like this?” she asked, a shameful echo of fear in her voice. “They will talk, for sure.”
    Smiling, Nathaniel draped a ermine-lined cape around her shoulders. “Only until someone else arrives for them to whisper about. They will remark on how fine you look, my friend. Nothing more. And those who are nasty will be so because they are small in mind and feeling.”
    He was right; in her heart Moira knew it too. Secretly she wanted to be looked at and admired.
    It was just so bloody unfortunate that she had to go out in public to have it happen.
    Would Wynthrope Ryland admire her appearance? Would he know that she had dressed to attract his attention? Would she want that attention if he gave it? What if he ignored her?
    No, he wouldn’t ignore her. As much as part of her hoped he would—and put an end to this foolish dream of hers—Moira knew he wouldn’t let her have her peace, not yet. Ryland hadn’t gotten what he wanted out of her, and he wasn’t the kind of man to give up until he had. Regardless of his reasons for flirting with her—it might have been an accident for all she knew—he wanted to kiss her, and he wouldn’t stop pursuing her until he had done so.
    Perhaps she should kiss him at the party and get it over with. Perhaps she should ask him what he stood to gain by stealing a kiss.
    Nathaniel offered her his arm, his smile giving her courage to face the evening. “Shall we depart?”
    Placing her hand on his sleeve, Moira exhaled a deep breath. “Yes. I wager Minnie is just about ready to throttle us both for taking this long.”
    Her friend shrugged. “It will do the chit good to wait for you for a change. I daresay she will be positively green with jealousy over your appearance.”
    “You shouldn’t say such things about my sister.” It was a halfhearted rebuke, and they both knew it. As much as Moira loved her younger sister, the girl was a trial at times.
    They walked down the corridor to the stairs in the silence. Somehow the pale blue walls seemed closer, as though the town house had shrunk while Moira was in her room. It was impossible, of course. Even the stairs, which were composed of many gentle steps, seemed steeper, each foothold narrow and tenuous.
    “You are shaking,” Nathaniel remarked as they descended. Were it not for his guidance, she would have tripped for certain.
    “I am nervous. Is that not ridiculous?” Holding her skirts out of the way of her leaden feet, Moira kept her gaze focused straight ahead. “Octavia and I have been planning this party forever, it seems, and now that it is here, I am all a-flutter.”
    “It is