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Noah and Clark, and far away from my parents. But it was far away from my parents. Don’t worry, the contradiction in those last two thoughts didn’t escape my notice.
    I loved my parents. I wanted them to be happy. I wanted them to be proud of me. But sometimes, I wondered if it would ever be possible for me to be happy and proud of myself.
    Shaking off those types of thoughts had become so customary that I usually didn’t even have to think about it. But as I sat in front of my brother’s adorable house and inhaled the scent from the flowers he and Clark had planted in the front yard, I found myself struggling to paste on my standard happy grin. I closed my eyes and breathed deeply.
    Everything was fine. I had just been tested more than usual the previous night. But I would find a way to overcome my attraction to Micah Trains. And, if not overcome it, then bury it deep enough that nobody would know. And really, don’t you think that’s the same thing?
     
     
    I DECIDED to get out of my car and go say hello to Noah and Clark. My relationship with Clark had improved substantially over the previous four months, which had helped alleviate a sick feeling I’d had since our falling out years earlier. Things were still a little tense with Noah, but then again, things had always been a little tense with Noah, so that was nothing new.
    I rang the doorbell and was surprised when my brother’s friend opened the door. He was my height, with intentionally disheveled hair that was bleached or dyed or something, resulting in a blond-streaked look. He had long sideburns and all sorts of piercings in both ears, plus one on his eyebrow.
    “Oh, sorry, I didn’t realize Noah and Clark had company. I should have called first,” I said.
    “Hey, no worries, man. Come on in.” He stepped aside and then held his hand out. “I’m Andrew. We met a couple of months ago.” He had some ink on his forearm, but it was just peeking out from under the long-sleeved henley he was wearing, so I couldn’t see the details.
    I took his hand and shook it. “I remember. Nice to see you again, Andrew. I’m sorry to interrupt your evening.”
    “Seriously, it’s not a problem. There’s plenty of food. Come on out back.”
    My mother would have been mortified if she had known that I had come to someone’s home uninvited and unannounced and interrupted a dinner party. Oh, and I was empty-handed, not even a bottle of wine to share. Social niceties were very important in my family, and I was probably violating any number of rules. Well, Noah never seemed to care about any of that stuff, and it was his house and his dinner party, so I thought it was probably okay.
    We had just stepped out of the French doors into the backyard when Clark saw us. He jogged over to me and clasped my shoulder, giving it a squeeze. “Hi! I’m so glad you’re here.” He was smiling and his voice sounded genuinely pleased. “I wasn’t sure if Noah had decided to…. Ehm, what can I get you to eat? We have plenty left—burgers and dogs, a couple of different salads. What are you in the mood for?”
    I decided not to apologize for crashing their party, because based on Clark’s comment, I was fairly sure he thought Noah had invited me. If I knew Clark and Noah, which I did, I would guess that Clark had suggested including me on the guest list and Noah had refused.
    “I’m not all that hungry, Clark. But I’d love a bottle of water.”
    “Coming right up. Make yourself at home. I think you’ve met most of the people here.”
    I looked around the backyard. There were probably about a dozen people there, and most of them looked familiar. I had joined Clark and Noah for dinner or breakfast or a pickup ball game many times over the past few months, and their friends had been included much of the time. It’s not like I knew any of them well, but certainly enough to make small talk. Hey, it was better than spending the night all alone in my condo.
    I said hello to