servantsâ quarters with her dad, the chauffeur for the rich family.
âRemember, she falls in love with one of the sons,â I say, reaching down for my backpack. âHe treats her like shit. And the other brother treats her like shit too, but heâs moreresponsible and good in the end. I forget what happens. I just remember sheâd watch their lavish parties from a tree.â I look at the coconut trees. Too tall and nowhere to hide.
My mom laughs. She has the widest smileâit spans her face, practically to her ears. She looks like she should be splashing in the surf for a J.Crew ad.
âWhat?â I say and open the door, but stay seated.
âNothing, itâs just . . . youâre so articulate. So when you talk like a teenagerâor swearâit makes me happy.â
âThatâs funny,â I say. âWhat a lark.â
She pats me on the head, then keeps her hand there. âThis, too, shall surpass.â
âI donât like that saying either,â I say, moving away. âYou need new sayings.â
âItâs from the script,â she says.
âOh God,â I say, getting out. âNo wonder weâre here.â
âCome on,â she says. âLetâs look around!â
I donât mimic her optimism. Expressing acceptance seems risky somehow. Naive. I know there will be a cost to this. Still, Iâm infected and am trying to tamp my enthusiasm down.
My mom pops the trunk and takes out her rolling suitcase. I take my backpack and bags of groceries from our emptied-out fridge and follow her up the stone steps and into our new home.
4
I HAVE A ST RANGE RESPONSE WHEN I FIRST WALK IN. The place feels affectionate. Like it welcomes and wants me there. Maybe itâs the flowers that someone left on the dining table, but itâs other things too. The light, the view, the colors, even the bright material of the furniture. The walls are a soft yellow, like butter pecan ice cream; the air is crisp and quiet. Itâs air-conditioning, I realize, which we didnât have in the condo. At our Kailua place, I was always on the verge of a sneezeâthe mildew, the mold, the humidity. Everything here is pure. It makes me feel like Iâve done something right.
âNice,â I say, relenting. I run my hand over the back of the sofa just beyond the dining table. The kitchen, eating area, and living room are all one great room.
âOh my God,â my mom says, taking it in. âIsnât this awesome?â
âYeah,â I say. âIt is.â
The furnishings are all unique. Nothing matchesâthereâs a light green couch and bold, floral-printed love seats, and the dark wood dining table and the glass coffee table arenât from the same set. Still, everything goes together. This makes each thing seem valuable, like itâs been collected over the years, ormulled over and chosen just for this room. It feels like our San Francisco apartment. I eye the flat-screen and the stereo. Music! My mom is inspecting the appliances in the kitchen. This doesnât feel like a place where the leftovers are stored. It also doesnât feel like something out of a catalogue, though itâs beautiful enough that it could be. Itâs a home.
âLook at all this fruit,â my mom says. I bring the groceries to the kitchen, where thereâs an array of fruit in a basket. I wash an apple and bite into it.
âMelanieâs so thoughtful,â my mom says. âIsnât this amazing?â
âThe fruit basket?â
âEverything.â She spreads one arm out like a model on a game show.
âAmazing,â I say.
âGod, Lea.â Her face falls.
âWhat?â I take another bite. âWhenever I donât match your pep levels, you freak out. Itâs great! Itâs insane, okay? It surpasses. Oh ma haw, catchphrase.â
âIâll go unload some more,â she